I'm going to share with you today some of the lesson and a little bit
more of what I taught during our ladies Bible study hour one Sunday. What
prompted me to pursue this topic was an interesting discussion in which
a few women were engaged. I was asked whether or not I would ever want
to remarry if my husband were to die. This is certainly a thought provoking
question and a heart stirring consideration for any wife, amen? I know
women who would respond to such a question with an emphatic, "NO WAY!"
And I know women who would heartily respond, "Yes, most definitely!" What
about you, dear wife? What would your response be? There is certainly
a contrast between the two given answers… Now I know you might think this
to be a rather morbid topic, but what I want to get at is the heart of
the answer you would give. In order to do that, let's turn to the book
of Ruth and begin by reading the story of Naomi, Ruth and Orpah who all
lost their husbands…
Ruth 1:3-5 (KJV)
And Elimelech Naomi's husband died; and she was left, and her two sons.
And they took them wives of the women of Moab; the name of the one was
Orpah, and the name of the other Ruth: and they dwelled there about ten
years. And Mahlon and Chilion died also both of them; and the woman was
left of her two sons and her husband.
Now let's skip on down to verses 8 - 9a which say:
And Naomi said unto her two daughter's in law, Go, return each to her
mother's house: the Lord deal kindly with you, as ye have dealt with the
dead, and with me. The Lord grant you that ye may find rest, each of you
in the house of her husband…"
The last part of that verse really stood out to me - perhaps you noticed
it too?
"….that ye may find rest in the house of your husband…."
Hmmm, I wonder how many women today who have husbands that are ALIVE can
actually say they have found rest in his house, can honestly claim they
have found peace of mind and heart in being married! Is marriage the place
of total fulfillment for you dear lady, or the place of total turmoil??
Is it really possible to say that we have found rest in the house of our
husbands? If I were to visit you today, would I find tranquility present
in your soul, linked to your love for being married, or would I find unrest
in your soul, linked to your dislike of being married?
Ladies, when death comes into a family like it did in our story today,
it ought to reform what is amiss there! Take a good hard look at your
attitude toward marriage at this point in time, toward being a wife, and
toward your husband… Would it have to take the death of your marriage
to reform your attitude toward it altogether?? Would you say the rest,
which Naomi referred to, is solely dependent upon the man to whom you
are married?? Do you believe changing husbands would truly "patch up"
any inner turmoil you might be experiencing?
Psalm 55:6 (KJV)
And I said, Oh that I had wings like a dove! for then would I fly away,
and be at rest.
We are appraising Naomi's wishes for her daughter's in law, but what does
her wish reveal to us about Ruth and Orpah's character as wives? Obviously
they were good wives, and they were women that found joy in being married,
for she encouraged them to remarry. I want you to take note of the fact
that Naomi is cheering these widows on at a point when Ruth and Orpah
had not as yet found new husbands, so this encouragement of hers has nothing
to do with particular men at all! Instead, we see that it has everything
to do with them! My point being, they took personal responsibility to
see to it they were happily married. Naomi testifies to us in scripture
that Ruth and Orpah had both been kind to her now dead sons, and yes ladies,
kind even to their mother-in-law! When you truly love your husband, as
you should, you will treat his family kindly and with the proper respect.
Hence, Naomi's desire was that the Lord would treat these women as well
as they had treated their husbands, her sons, and even her.
Let's park there for a moment and think about that point. How well would
you be treated by the Lord if He treated you exactly as you have dealt
with your husband? Can you honestly say today that you are kind to the
man you married? Is there kindness upon your tongue when you speak to
him? I would venture to say that your dealings toward your husband would
most likely reveal the heart of the answer you gave concerning remarriage!
Wives that deal with their husbands kindly and have found rest in the
house of their husbands are the ones that usually desire to remarry. And
those that don't deal with their husbands kindly are the ones that wouldn't
remarry if you paid them! What does that then tell us about being a wife?
It tells us that the secret to the joy we find in being married lies WITHIN
our hearts, not outside of them!
Psalm 132:14 (KJV)
This is my rest for ever: here will I dwell; for I have desired it.
Ladies, as Christian wives, each of us should desire to come to the place
where we can truly say we have found REST in the house of our husbands
- rest in the presence of an imperfect man and freedom from marital anxiety!
Anybody today interested in the challenge, interested in the commitment
that is going to be necessary? Are you truly willing to take responsibility
for all your marital attitudes? Has the time come for you to make up your
mind once and for all to find your rest in your husband's house? Better
guard your heart then, for out of it comes the issue of being a good wife;
out of your heart will come the kind dealings toward your husband in spite
of the type of man he is - or isn't; out of your heart comes the issue
of loving married life…
Proverbs 4:23
Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
Keeping your heart is going to keep your marriage - do you realize that,
dear lady? Keeping your heart is going to preserve a healthy attitude
toward your husband and allow you to deal kindly with him. Keeping your
heart is going to stay your focus on the Lord and His character, not on
man's imperfections. Keep your heart how? With all diligence! Not once
in awhile when you happen to remember, not just if your husband keeps
his heart, not only if you have time to keep it, not only if you feel
like keeping it - but with ALL DILIGENCE!
Matthew 11:28-29 (KJV)
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give
you rest. [29] Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and
lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
Ladies, see to the safeguarding of your heart continually. If you don't,
you'll find no rest in your husband's house, or anyone else's for that
matter! God beckons all distressed, discouraged, disillusioned, disappointed,
distracted, and discontented wives to cast their cares upon Him and take
His yoke upon them instead. The Lord's burdens are lighter and safer for
our hearts, affording us the prospect of finding rest in our current circumstances.
Naomi's prayer was that the Lord would grant her daughters-in-law a life
of continued marital happiness. Don't you want the same? All of us need
to realize that the Lord won't grant our longings for a marriage free
of all anxieties if we are apathetic about the condition and content of
our hearts. Do you need to add or subtract something from your heart today,
dear wife? Add kindness? Subtract bitterness? Perhaps you need to do both…
Ephes. 4:32 (KJV)
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even
as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
We'll continue looking at the topic of marriage in our next lesson, but
while it is called today, search your heart won't you? See if you find
any rest there; see if contentment in regard to your marriage dwells within
your heart. And if it does not, diligently seek to do that which is right,
for there is a rest that Christ would deposit to your soul and to your
home!
God Bless,
Pam
Isaiah 60:1&2
Copyright 2000 Pamela A. Iannello
Revised 2003
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