In our last lesson we looked at the fact that God said it is not good
that man should be alone. I hope every one of the married women who receive
this devotional have been working hard at becoming a good companion to
their husband since then! :-) Do not be hindered by his shortcomings though…
To be the right kind of companion, we are going to need to be patient
with our husbands - even when they are not perfect companions for us to
be with! There are things that God is still going to make known to them
and remove from their lives while teaching them about marriage as well.
Focus on being a long-suffering and loving companion, trusting God for
the well-being of your home. Perhaps your husband has not yet realized
what a benefit there is to having a wife. Trust God to open his eyes,
it takes time! You'll see that today as we continue on in our study of
Genesis chapter 2 where God is going to begin stirring up in Adam the
desire for a perfect companion. At this point in time, Adam does not realize
it is not good that he should be alone. There comes a time when every
man looks for a wife - and the Bible says in Proverbs 18:22 it's a good
thing when he finds one… In view of that fact, observe how the Lord creates
this desire for a helpmeet in Adam's heart, and sends him looking for
a wife…
Genesis 2:19-20 (KJV)
And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and
every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would
call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was
the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of
the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found
an help meet for him.
I wonder how long this whole process of naming the animals really took?
Quite a while I imagine, for there are some 17,000 air-breathing species
of animals in existence today! Over time, this parade of animals must
have intensified Adam's loneliness, amen? I wonder if the job of naming
all the animals started out to be a very enjoyable undertaking, followed
by Adam becoming increasingly conscious of his own solitude. Perhaps restlessness
settled on his heart, toning down his interest in animals, thereby developing
into a yearning for a more satisfying creature with which to spend his
time.
Notice that Adam didn't alter his performance but carried on in spite
of his desire not having been met. It's fun to imagine how these events
unfolded, yet at any rate, Adam did come to realize that there was not
an help meet for him like there was for all the other animals. What an
education in science he must have received while spending all that time
with the animals! No doubt he observed the playful, helpful, and protective
behavior of each species, as he was busy giving them names. Perhaps these
observations stimulated a wish for his very own companion - someone to
which he could give his name, someone with which he could walk and talk,
with which he could eat and play, share life with as the animals had,
someone who could help him in every way. Ladies, this timely process has
taken place in the lives of many a man prior to marriage since that day
in the garden. There comes a time for men, when doing their favorite things
all of the time just isn't enough anymore, it is no longer fulfilling
unless there is someone with which to share it. As the Lord parades various
circumstances across the path of a man's life, it occurs to him that the
time has come for him to seek a wife, the need for companionship arises
and the search begins. Yes, born in Adam was a desire for a close relationship,
a need for a wife… What was God's part in meeting Adam's need? What was
Adam's part? Let's read on in verses 21-22….
And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept:
and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and
brought her unto the man.
First of all, we notice that Adam rested in the Lord to provide a wife
for him. He placed himself in the hands of his Creator, trusting Him for
the timing of his helpmeet's arrival. The Lord was in the process of molding
and shaping his woman; she was not yet ready to deliver to Adam! Ladies,
we would do well to remind our sons that today God still brings godly
wives to godly men in this way, if they would but look to Him for the
right one and be willing to wait! Trouble is, most men don't rest in the
Lord for finding a companion, they look themselves for one, and in their
haste they use the wrong standards, looking in all the wrong places, ending
up afterwards in miserable marriages or finding themselves alone again
altogether. Encourage your sons with this portion of scripture, won't
you? When God decides the time is right, He will bring the right mate
along to the man, and she will be molded and shaped specifically and perfectly
for him! The best thing a young man can do in the mean time is follow
Adam's example and carry on with the job God has given them to do! Ladies,
don't let your sons get discouraged and drop everything just to go out
on a wife-hunting mission! It's a waste of their time, for only God knows
where she is… When we obey the Lord and establish the proper relationship
with Him, He then gives us our hearts desires…
Psalm 37:4 (KJV)
Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of
thine heart.
There are two ways we can look at the next point mentioned about Adam
in our Genesis text. We see that he was ready to make some personal sacrifices
in order that he might acquire a helpmeet. You see ladies; Adam had to
yield himself to God prior to marriage. Mothers, we must teach our boys
from their youth to live sacrificially and submissively, for they will
never survive married life with self-centered hearts! Perhaps God had
a talk with Adam, Father to son, sharing what would be required of him
as a husband. (Sounds like a good idea to me!) Perhaps Adam understood
and accepted the fact that he would have to give some things up in preparation
for married life, and consented to their removal. Yes, Adam gave of himself
- a rib - something near and dear to him, something he had around all
his life! This is not easy for a man, for the Bible says in Ephesians
5:29:
For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth
it…."
If Adam was going to give up something that he loved and cherished - a
piece of himself, it was going to hurt and there would be a sore spot
after the removal of his rib, he would miss it, but nevertheless, he was
ready and willing to give this part of himself up. Where his rib used
to be is where his wife now would dwell - by his side. SHE was to fill
that precious spot in his life! Teach this to your sons, dear mother!
It is important, and one day your daughter-in-law will thank you! It will
be a hindrance to his love for his wife if your son does not realize that
he must be a sacrificial giver of himself. Sacrifice is a repeated practice,
not a one-time ordeal. Are your boys learning to give up things dear to
them now, for the sake of others, even though they are not of marrying
age? Teach them the art of sacrifice before it's too late!!
Acts 20:35 (KJV)
I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support
the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It
is more blessed to give than to receive.
On the other hand, Adam may not have known that his rib was going to be
removed - the Bible does say the Lord took it! Perhaps Adam wouldn't fully
realize until after married life the sacrifice that was going to be necessary.
This is where we wives need to trust God! God will take away that which
is more important to your husband than you in order that he might be a
proper companion to you! Our Creator cares about our marriages more than
we do… The question is - are you willing to trust God to do the necessary
surgery? That means you'll have to be ready to sit in the waiting room
for however long your husband's surgery takes! So often we wives want
to remove all of our husband's ribs, amen?! We want to extract all of
the bad habits, negative behavior, and obsessive hobbies that interfere
with the health of our relationship with our husbands, those attitudes
and activities that push us aside and hinder our marital intimacy. Unfortunately
we operate in haste and that is very dangerous… We grab the knife and
perform surgery instead of waiting on our Great Physician to carry out
such delicate procedure. Let God do the cutting ladies, for He closes
up the flesh when He does surgery! You and I would probably leave the
wounds open with our unforgiveness, bitterness, and hard heartedness,
and never find healing in our marriages. You see, God's Word does a perfect
job of cutting, while our words would leave a bloody mess of things…
Hebrews 4:12 (KJV)
For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged
sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of
the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents
of the heart.
What you and I as wives must come to realize is that the "rib" - those
particular things that the Lord takes from a husband's life one at a time,
is what God uses to make a woman with - a godly woman! He takes that very
thing that is so precious to our husbands and uses it to mold us and shape
us into the proper kind of Christian wife. We would all hope that God
would use the easy things to mold us and shape us with but He doesn't
- the Lord uses a bone, representative of the hard things in life, to
make godly women out of us! For instance, my husband was a big drinker,
a drunk in fact. It was a "rib" that definitely needed to be extracted
from his life that was in the way of the health, success, and unity of
our marriage. Drinking was dearer to my husband than I was, and came between
us often. So too, was his addiction to pornography; both could have been
the ruin of our home. However, God used my husband's sinful drinking habit
and his affection for pornography - both very hard situations - to mold
and shape me into a more loving, more patient, more trusting wife than
I ever thought possible! All these qualities God knew would never have
been developed in me if I were not willing to trust His steady, loving
hand to perform the necessary surgery on my husband's heart! That is why
the Bible says in Romans 8:28:
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God,
to them who are the called according to his purpose.
Consider for a moment, your husband's shortcomings… How do you typically
react to them? Are you responding to their existence in a godly way by
allowing God to use his flesh to develop godly character in you in response
to his sinful nature? Remember, out of that rib God made a woman… Though
it is a hard beginning for man and wife, there is no greater way to become
a perfect companion for either one! Do you truly trust the Lord, dear
lady?? Will you let Him create a godly woman out of you in this unique
manner, the kind of woman that your husband specifically needs?? Would
your husband be able to say that God has brought you to him? Ladies, God
wants to mold and shape you into the perfect wife and then present you
to your husband as a helpmeet he can truly call his own, and a perfect
companion created just for him! Both husband and wife must willingly rest
in the Lord while He accomplishes this perfect work of making one flesh
of two.
God Bless,
Pam
Isaiah 60:1&2
Copyright 2000 Pamela A. Iannello
Revised 2003
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