Can you remember back to the instances you spent together doing fun things
with your husband? What was the fruit of that time together? Didn’t you
naturally grow in your friendship and ultimately in your romantic desire
for each other? Why did this occur? Was it just a freak accident? Wasn’t
it because during those times together you shared your common ideas, which
built up a strong bond between you? Communication is always the fruit
of marital dating and recreation time together. Make time for fun with
your spouse!
The best Biblical example of this truth is found in the Song of Solomon.
As you read this story it is quite obvious that this man and his wife
had a very open, intimate, and expressive communication with each other.
The question is, how did they get this kind of relationship? The answer
is found as you read the account; for they did many things together...
He visited his wife while she was away in the mountains
(Song of Sol. 2:8-9).
They also went on trips together to Lebanon and other villages
( Song of Sol. 4:8; 7:11).
They would take walks together to smell the flowers
( Song of Sol. 2:10-14).
In verse 14 in this passage above, notice HOW they talked while they were
together. Solomon’s wife declared, "...let me see thy countenance, let
me hear thy voice; for sweet is thy voice, and thy countenance is comely."
Do you feel that way about your husband today dear lady? Do you like the
sound of his voice, or do you dread it? What a shame it is when married
people no longer enjoy or look forward to the company of one another....
Enjoyable communication is the result of special times together and a
proper heart attitude.
Prayer is another very important tool in encouraging deeper communication
within a marriage. You may be thinking, How could prayer affect our communication?
It’s very simple! When you pray with your husband, you communicate the
things that are most important to you, that are heaviest on your heart.
You also say things to the Lord in prayer that you won’t ordinarily say
in normal conversation with your spouse. When you share your most intimate
secrets with your most intimate partner you can’t help but be drawn closer
together! Honesty and openness like this poured out at the throne of grace
will naturally stir up healthy and holy communication.
Psalm 130:1 says, "Out of the depths have I cried unto thee, O Lord."
The Psalms are a powerful example of a man sharing his honest hopes, fears,
and troubles with a God that he knew loved him. What is your reaction
as you come into contact with the depth of David’s heart? Don’t you identify
with his struggles and aren’t you drawn to love this man? Similarly, if
we will pray together and pour out our hearts to God in the presence of
our spouse, we will also be drawn together into a deeper sense of understanding
and love for one another.
Ladies, don’t let your fear, pride, or self-sufficiency keep you from
joining your mate in prayer! If your husband seeks you out to come and
call upon the Lord with him, accept his invitation! As you do, your intimacy
will surely grow...
Next to consider is the content of our communication. If you desire to
truly enhance your communication, you must also develop the content of
your conversations. You must not allow your fellowship to remain superficial,
but you must share the most important things in your life. Meaningful
communication is always fulfilling and edifying and will encourage you
to come back for more. How can you develop a more meaningful content?
First, there must be something meaningful happening in your life. What
do I mean? The most meaningful thing that can possibly happen in your
life is what is occurring in your relationship with the Lord, amen? When
God is at work in people’s lives and they are filled with the Holy Spirit,
it is worth communicating!
Psalm 66:16, "Come and hear, all ye that fear God, and I will declare
what he hath done for my soul."
Ladies, ask God to begin stirring you up spiritually and fill you with
His living water. Seek God in His Word and then humbly and wisely, in
a timely fashion, share with your husband what you’ve learned and what
God is doing in your soul. The more you share spiritual things with him,
the greater will be the depth of your relationship. Meaningful conversation
also consists of the important things that happen to you both each day
and how the Lord is at work in your life; your joys, struggles, your confessions,
your victories and accomplishments. These are the important things in
life, amen? When you discuss them with one another, you will sense that
your relationship is becoming more meaningful. This will certainly open
up more communication!
Acts 4:20, "For we cannot but speak the things which we have seen and
heard."
Lastly, we need to look at one of the easiest ways to enhance our communication.
It is to simply be more encouraging by regularly declaring your appreciation
for each other! It is so easy to verbalize our criticism and to find fault;
in fact, it seems to come forth with no effort at all! But, why is it
that encouragement and praise for a job well done both seem to get stuck
in our throat?? Are you choking on something you need to spit out today,
dear wife? Scripture teaches that praise and encouragement are a valid
and necessary part of good communication. We are told to in Hebrews 3:13
to "exhort one another daily". How are you doing, are you a bit behind
in your exhortations? I am sure that your spouse has done something today
that is worthy of appreciation and praise... Have you declared it? Consider
all the things your spouse does every day to benefit you and your family.
Why not mention how blessed you feel to have him as your husband? Are
you afraid of what is going to happen if you start dishing out praise
and encouragement to him? I'll tell you ahead of time what will happen
- your entire relationship will be strengthened because your spouse will
sense your love and care!
So dear lady, will you follow Christ's example today and allow God to
start transforming you? Remember, only if you are WILLING, can He make
you an effective and well-balanced communicator! All He requires is that
you surrender to His full control and Lordship. As you yield, God will
also make you an example to your spouse and to your children of an effective
communicator. Let God begin the work today in your home and you will begin
to enjoy your marriage relationship like never before, amen?
God Bless,
Pam
Isaiah
60:1&2
Copyright 2000 Pamela A. Iannello
Related Devotionals
Becoming An Effective Communicator - Part 1