The title of today’s devotion is a question nearly every female longs to hear and nearly every male expects to ask an intended mate one day. Nevertheless, I have a question I’d like to pose to Christian women at present, especially mothers, and even those who are already grandmothers… Have we stopped raising our children with God’s will in mind, particularly our girls?
1 Tim. 5:14 (KJV)
I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the
house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
Ladies, what is the consuming passion of your daughter/daughters? From my little corner of the world, it has been my observation that because God’s people have grown cold in general, a desire to serve others has also turned frigid. Hence, many of our young people are getting into trouble due to an incline in selfishness. Consequently, Christian young persons are not disposed to ordering their lives with Biblical values, pledging themselves to the opposite sex in holy matrimony, and the opportunity it affords a man or woman to serve their life long companion in sincerity and love.
Genesis 2:18 (KJV)
And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I
will make him an help meet for him.
Proverbs 18:22 (KJV)
Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the
Lord.
Let’s remember that God ordained marriage and labeled it a good situation, despite the fact that folks today deem being single even better. In respect to God’s opinion on the subject, let us then go on to consider whether or not we are developing a spirit of fidelity or independence in our young girls. Ladies, do your daughters have the potential to build a God-pleasing home or is that last on their list of things they want or hope to do? Do you know how to raise an help meet according to God’s standards? This may sound like a juvenile expression to apply to that question, but I’m going to use it anyway - “It takes one to know one!” In other words, we will only impart what we accept as true…
Genesis 2:24 (KJV)
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave
unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Considering the current flavor of Christianity, I would venture to say that our young people would severely struggle with the prospect of living along side their spouse as one flesh. Why do I say that? Because Mom & Dad aren’t doing it very successfully! Christian homes are seldom unified and likewise the church, which is simply comprised of individuals who, behind closed doors, are often at odds in their allegiance to one another. Yes, there is a spirit of independence among believers today, young and old alike. When God’s will is tossed aside, self rules. Hence, parents and single persons should both explore and endeavor to remove habit patterns that have become obstructions to and reduced one’s marriage potential.
Proverbs 31:10-12 (KJV)
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. [11]
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have
no need of spoil. [12] She will do him good and not evil all the days
of her life.
Because the Bible advises marriage to younger women, any barriers to matrimony must be ironed out early in a young lady if she would be a viable candidate for proposal. Likewise, all necessary attributes for generating a fruitful married life must be put into the same as soon as possible! Otherwise, you might as well get use to your children living with you until the Lord comes back or they move out and make serious mistakes afterward.
Eccles. 7:28 (KJV)
Which yet my soul seeketh, but I find not: one man among a thousand have
I found; but a woman among all those have I not found.
Ladies, marriage is a matter of the heart. As virtue is lacking, the marriage will suffer accordingly. When raising your daughters, do not simply consider attributes for which man searches, but also those attributes that GOD knows are hindrances or stumbling blocks to the opposite sex. Bear in mind that the greater the virtue, the better and stronger the marriage. What valuable characteristics can be found in your daughter today?
Certainly I am no expert, but I have raised one daughter who is currently age 21 and holds a good testimony, by God’s grace. Therefore, I do have some parental experience under my belt in the realm of success and error. Secondly, as a pastor’s wife I am exposed to a variety of young girls and get a close view of the upbringing they receive as well as the shape their character is taking under the particular training of each household. Combining those credentials, I have comprised a list of areas I believe every mother should look into if she would increase her little girl’s potential for marriage, and thus support God’s will for her daughter’s life. Yes, there is the distinct possibility someone might not want to spend the rest of his life with YOUR daughter! Believe it or not, a large percentage of children raised in Christian homes are not sufficiently prepared for one flesh living and will be lining up at the pastor’s door for marriage counseling shortly after they exchange their vows!
Mark 10:9 (KJV)
What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
At the rate in which she is growing and the course you have set her on, is your daughter more or less likely to attract a proper husband? Would a prospective mate say, “I do” or “I wouldn’t dare!” when inspecting these areas of her life prior to submitting a marriage proposal? Scores of young people are unable to make the adjustments that wedded life entails. The path to paradise is by way of godly priorities. Prior to purchasing a wedding dress, you better see how this list fits your daughter’s frame…
AUTHORITY – response to, mind-set concerning all types of; compliance
APPEARANCE – overall exterior impression, countenance & carriage
APPAREL – modest and attractive – minus the frump!
ABILITY – can cook and clean and cope with life’s duties;
power to perform
APTITUDE – mental capabilities; sharp & discerning; suitable
understanding
ATTITUDE – self-righteous & bossy, loud & stubborn, or meek
& quiet; serene
AMIABLE – warm and inviting; general friendliness exhibited to all;
sociable
AMBIANCE – mood; basic frame of mind; general disposition
ATTENTIVE – thoughtful; respect for detail; conscientious; good
listener
APPRECIATIVE – thankful; humble in all settings; openly expresses
gratitude
AID – freely offers help to all family members, friends, and strangers;
servant ASSOCIATION – involved in wholesome pastimes; builds healthy
relationships
ADAPTABILITY – flexible; accepts change with grace; adjusts quickly;
pliable
AFFORDABLE – not in bondage to money or things; prudent economy
AMBITION – godly desires; teachable spirit; striving for excellence
in everything
ACTIVE – energetic; industrious; not lazy; not easily fatigued or
slow; full of life
Before your daughter suffers from despair over becoming a dreaded spinster, before she becomes bitter and blames God for her solitary existence, or even runs away from home to hunt down a less than desirable mate for herself, it would behoove both mother and father to work at putting first-rate qualities into their little girl’s character so that comparable grieving situations can be prevented. Prepare your daughter for a marriage proposal, not a disposal! No girl wants to be disqualified from holy matrimony, therefore somebody better consider these credentials and others like them for which a truly godly man will search. Only just recently I heard of one eligible Christian man who, when asked why he had not yet married, stated, “A good number of nice looking girls aren’t domestically inclined, while a good number of those who are domestically inclined don’t care about how they look.” He later mentioned that many were uninterested in motherhood as well. And so, the fact that very few females possess a proper balance to their character and good looks is a nuptial setback. Thus, the decline of a Christlike demeanor in our young people calls for more prayer to withstand the attacks upon virtue…
Psalm 12:1 (KJV)
Help, Lord; for the godly man ceaseth; for the faithful fail from among
the children of men.
As we wrap things up today, I would like to challenge each and every mother to examine whether or not self is or has become the supreme object of your daughter’s affections. Is her own happiness the focus of her highest wishes? Does she have a greater regard for her own will or the will of her Creator? No heart beats in unison with it’s own; marriage requires the exercise of a self-sacrificing spirit… “Will you marry me?” should be a question every young lady is equipped to answer with full assurance in her proficiency to fulfill the function of wife for the good of her husband.
God Bless,
Pam
Isaiah 60: 1&2
Copyright 2004 Pamela A. Iannello
