I think you would all agree with me that there are many suffering families
today in this nation and in the world at large. Certainly the circumstances
for the problems within each home are different, but some might be similar.
People usually devote a great deal of time to considering WHY these problems
are present, but truthfully, that question always leads to the same answer
- it's because men and women are sinners! When it comes to problems between
family members, the real question we need to ask ourselves is WHAT, for
what leads to right solutions. What must be done? What can be done? What
have you been doing? What does God say must be done?
You see ladies, we must learn to view both people and problems through
God's eyes and not our own. We would then understand that the Lord belongs
at the center of all that goes on in our lives and not us. Then GOD can
be the hero He should be in bringing success to our home life and all
relationships! Far too many humans are striving to be the success story
of a messy situation, thereby stealing God's glory for themselves. Beware
of your motives for fixing things!
John 12:32
And I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all men unto me.
We have before us in the pages of the Word of God the perfect opportunity
to apply this method of dealing with difficult people and problems, for
today we are going to begin an in depth study of Joseph and his family
life and the problems they all went through. This story plainly displays
the workings of the human mind. As a member of that troubled home, you'll
find that Joseph didn't focus on WHY - he focused on WHAT, and in the
end, the proper behavior and solution was found to every problem! The
real triumph was that the Lord was at the center of it all. God's way
isn't always easy - but it is always right! Let's start out with a look
at the first few verses of Genesis chapter 37 and the opening scene of
the description of their problems…
Verses 1-4:
And Jacob dwelt in the land wherein his father was a stranger, in the
land of Canaan. These are the generations of Jacob. Joseph, being seventeen
years old, was feeding the flock with his brethren; and the lad was with
the sons of Bilhah, and with the sons of Zilpah, his father's wives: and
Joseph brought unto his father their evil report. Now Israel loved Joseph
more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age: and
he made him a coat of many colours. And when his brethren saw that their
father loved him more than all his brethren, they hated him, and could
not speak peaceably unto him.
We learn here of two difficult situations Joseph was faced with in his
home. First of all, his brothers were doing wrong and he knew it. Secondly,
his father favored him, and that he knew as well. Both of these situations
Joseph had absolutely no control over, for they were the result of the
improper choices of those around him. He could not control his father's
affections nor could he control the behavior or attitude of his brothers.
But what he could control was his reaction to it all. As is the duty of
every responsible and faithful brother, Joseph knew that he was to inform
his father of any evil that his siblings performed. I'm sure Joseph must
have faced the temptation to try and fix things in his own power and with
his own logic. Perhaps he thought he should keep his mouth shut and overlook
his brother's faults because he knew he was the object of their hatred
and maybe try to win their affections that way? Possibly Joseph was tempted
to overlook their sin because he knew his father didn't favor them as
much and he pitied them. No, he had to do right; he had to alert his father
of their behavior!
You see ladies; even in the midst of emotional turmoil this young man
was focused on and guided by WHAT must be done rather than sentiment.
Joseph could have even considered taking the opportunity to join his brothers
in doing wrong simply to alter his father's unhealthy affections for him
to try and balance out his Dad's poorly divided heart. But here again,
WHAT does God say Joseph should do? This question always makes the path
we must take very clear… He couldn't do wrong! The Bible says God expects
us to be our brother's keeper and He also expects us to honor our father
and mother. Yes, Joseph was certainly in the midst of a very sticky family
situation, but nevertheless he remained steadfast in performing that which
was right rather than being strung along by his emotions and his desire
to fix people and their problems promptly and painlessly. Joseph was going
to have to learn to trust God with the hearts of each of his family members
in order for success to come about in their life together.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Now let's look at the other members of the family for a moment… Not because
his other children were faulty, but because Joseph was the son of his
old age, the Bible says that Jacob showed partiality toward Joseph above
all his other children. He was the baby of the whole family and Jacob
clung to him. Sounds like Jacob was guilty of clinging more to Joseph
than he was to the Lord as he should have been doing in his old age!!
Are any of you aging women guilty of the same thing today? Have you set
any of your children up as idols in your life? Beware of clinging too
tightly to your children, for it will cause your whole family a multitude
of problems…
Exodus 20:3
Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
As a parent, Jacob made known his special love for Joseph; he singled
him out by dressing him finer than the rest of his children. Scripture
says that Jacob had himself made that special coat of many colors for
the lad. Ladies, it is clear by this story that it is wrong for parents
to make such a difference between one child and another, unless there
is reason for it, by either the child's behavior or misbehavior. You see,
when parents make a difference, children soon notice it as did Joseph's
brothers, and it leads to bitter quarrels in families and continual grief
for everyone involved!
Luke 11:17
But he, knowing their thoughts, said unto them, Every kingdom divided
against itself is brought to desolation; and a house divided against a
house falleth.
No doubt the hatred Joseph's brothers had for him began long before Joseph
ever wore the coat. Daily they witnessed their father put something into
their younger brother's life he never put into theirs. As Jacob adoringly
sewed that coat for Joseph one stitch at a time, he did not notice that
he was also sewing discord in his very own home between his children!
Let's be careful that as mothers we are not becoming seamstresses of discord
in our children's lives, amen? Are you guilty of favoritism, of sewing
any family trouble at your house, dear lady? Are you showing more love
to one child than to another? Remember, we aren't to focus on why; we
are to focus on what. WHAT have you been doing as a parent?? Jealousy
is a very powerful emotion, amen? We ought to do everything we can as
parents not to fuel jealousy between our children…
Ephesians 6:4
And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up
in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Colossians 3:21
Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
An interesting point that the Bible brought out about Joseph's brothers
in our main text today is that they "could not speak peaceably to him."
It doesn't say that the brothers didn't want to speak peaceably to Joseph;
it says they couldn't! Their hearts had been discouraged; they were provoked
to anger. A stumbling block had been laid at their feet and it was a hindrance
to family love. However, they did not know the secret to gaining success
over their jealousy - they did not consider WHAT must be done! Therefore
with God's ways absent from their thinking, these brothers were led away
from doing what was right and ended up choosing hatred as their personal
reaction to their father's sinful partiality.
Romans 2:11
For there is no respect of persons with God.
As we wrap up today's lesson, WHAT can you do this week to show all of
your family members that you love them? With what problem or person in
your family do you need to trust the Lord with in order to react properly
and see success come about in your home? Is there some area of your life
where you are letting your emotions dictate your behavior rather than
what is right in God's eyes? Let's stop trying to be the champion in every
messy situation and seek after what would please God and conform ourselves
to it. No matter what the circumstances we are faced with in our homes
today, we need not fear the outcome with the Lord as our helper and guide.
Like Joseph, we must always react righteously whenever we are confronted
with various degrees of unrighteousness.
Ephes. 5:10
Proving WHAT is acceptable unto the Lord.
God Bless,
Pam
Isaiah 60:1&2
Copyright 2000 Pamela A. Iannello
Revised 2003
