The summer months are usually very popular times of the year in which
to plan weddings and beautiful brides can be spotted everywhere during
this particular season. What do you think are the most meaningful parts
of a wedding ceremony? What emotions do you associate with a wedding?
Do you usually cry when you see the bride walking down the aisle toward
her groom? Are you crying because you believe marriage is truly a blessing,
or because you feel sorry for the couple and the struggles that lie ahead
of them?? Long lasting marriages are always an occasion that cause much
reflection on the goodness and grace of God. That's exactly what we are
going to do as we look closely at Psalm 45 over the next few days.
Ladies, did you know that this portion of scripture is a wedding hymn
that would have ordinarily been sung at a royal wedding? As a matter of
fact, it is this special event that prompted the writing of this poem
to begin with. Of course, if you examine this Psalm with spiritual eyes,
you will see the correlation of the marriage of Christ, the Bridegroom,
to the bride, His church. Even so, we are going to apply it to our lives
on a more personal level today. As married couples, we ought to take every
opportunity we find to praise the institution of marriage and our spouses!
Marriage is a good thing and should be portrayed as such, as verse one
of our text illustrates:
My heart is inditing a good matter: I speak of the things which I have
made touching the king: my tongue is the pen of a ready writer.
I wonder dear lady, are you usually found speaking well of your marriage
or the institution of marriage in general? When you speak of the things
that relate to your husband, what kind of a writer are you, O wife?? The
psalmist's tongue was guided by the Spirit of God, as is the pen by the
hand of a ready writer, and so should our tongues be guided in the same
way! This psalm is touching King Jesus, His kingdom and government. When
your words speak of matters touching your husband and what it is like
to be married to him, how are you usually found presenting your marital
situation? How do you speak about the king of your home, your God-given
authority? Is your tongue an instrument in the hands of the Lord or a
tool in the hands of the devil? If your heart isn't properly prepared,
dear wife, then it is best to keep your mouth shut!
Mark 10:9
What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
As godly wives, we should be as overjoyed as the psalmist is with the
opportunity to speak good things of marriage and our husbands! We must
be READY to utter praise, always looking for opportunities to publish
good things about our spouses. Unfortunately, many married women seek
that crack in the door where they can "tattle" on their men and extract
sympathy from others for the unhappy condition of their union. Word by
word they thoughtlessly untie what God has tied together… Do you regularly
put asunder your marriage with your tongue, dear lady?? Do you have a
bad habit of freely publicizing everything that your husband has said
or done against you? That which proceeds out of our mouths corresponds
to the grace that is found in our hearts… A faithful wife is a protection
to her spouse's reputation. Be aware of the fact that your negative words
are responsible for separating you from your own husband! In the end,
most couples divorce because of the accumulation of little offences man
and wife both make continual note of. Wives, if you truly love your husbands,
you will seek to cover his transgressions, not expose them.
Proverbs 17:9
He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a
matter separateth very friends.
Women who would seek after love strive to compose their sentences from
a heart full of affection for their husbands. Cold expressions are a sign
of a cold heart, so why not warm your heart with gratitude and admiration
for your king and publish better tales of marriage….
Psalm 45:2
Thou art fairer than the children of men: grace is poured into thy lips:
therefore God hath blessed thee for ever.
Notice the words that are spoken to this king. He is openly praised as
fairer than the children of men. Do you feel that way about your husband,
ladies? You should! Perhaps your very own words have distorted your view
of the man you married and maybe even his view of himself! Even if you
don't always think him fairer than all others, you can at least make your
husband feel that way, amen? Ladies, our husbands need to feel special
in our eyes and should never be made to feel any less than the best of
the best as far as we're concerned! If you don't try to make him feel
like a king, I guarantee some other ready female novelist will come along
and write some praise of your husband in your stead! Dear wife, if your
marital pen has run dry, you had better ask the Lord for a fresh supply
of ink so you can persist in writing good things about your man! As you
pay attention to God's Word, you will be more mindful of your own remarks…
By God's grace you can create sentences with skillfulness of expression
and enthusiasm.
Proverbs 8:6
Hear; for I will speak of excellent things; and the opening of my lips
shall be right things.
Has it all been wonderful? No, of course not, marriage to anyone is hard
- but God's grace makes it possible for our marriages to last. No matter
how long we have each been married, we can and should still speak joyfully
of the years we've had together in spite of the difficulties. Teach the
other wives around you how to publish good words about their husbands
and lead by example in your writing of married life. Stop women when they
begin to do otherwise and sharpen their vision when it starts to dim.
Today marriage is practically a dirty word simply because we have dragged
a godly institution through the mud and treated it disrespectfully. Who
else but godly, Christian wives ought to be among the first to rise up
and restore mankind's distorted view of a good thing! We of all people
should be describing the king of our homes and his government suitably.
Let's get going, ladies!! I've witnessed lost women who are better at
married life than saved women and their husbands aren't perfect either.
Marriage is a good matter; husbands are to be honored, not slandered.
Just as Christ is worthy of our love and praise, so ought our husbands
receive the same treatment.
Proverbs 31:11-12
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have
no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her
life.
Do you ever wonder how your husband speaks of you at the work place, or
when he is with the guys? Often times men use this opportunity to slander
their wives and marriages as much as women do! What a shame... How difficult
it would be for men to speak ill of being married when their wives have
been speaking grace to them at home, amen? Ladies, whether we realize
it or not, we guide with our lips and we can help our husbands think marriage
is the greatest thing that ever happened to them - if we believe that
ourselves and speak of it as such! You'll hear the echoes of your own
words upon his lips and the lips of your children too. Pour grace into
your man and he'll pour it back out all over you - that's what ministering
grace one to another really is in action! Make it a blessing for your
friends and family to hear you talk; they are the hearers of your words
and you will either win or lose them accordingly.
Proverbs 22:11b
….for the grace of his lips the king shall be his friend.
Proverbs 16:13
Righteous lips are the delight of kings; and they love him that speaketh
right.
Yes, the Bible promises that if we aim to be what God would have us to
be, we will improve our own standing with our husbands. We will gain their
friendship and loyalty, and please them greatly by employing righteous
lips. All those who communicate tactfully will have many supporters. Therefore,
never take too lightly the power of the tongue; we can build or destroy
our marriages with so small a member of our body.
Psalm 45:2b
…therefore God hath blessed thee forever.
In closing, a successful marriage is always a triangle: a man, a woman,
and God. When God's ways are followed, He will exalt the marriage where
both partners diligently work to keep their talk free from guile. The
Lord blesses these couples with grace during the very toughest moments
in life, for it is the glue that keeps them close and strongly bonded
together in love. When God's blessing is upon our homes and married life,
bride and groom can anticipate celebrating many an anniversary together
speaking of His goodness and the very grace that preserved their union.
Future generations are touched too with the godly perspective that marriage
is a good matter and should be viewed as such.
God Bless,
Pam
Isaiah 60:1&2
Copyright 2000 Pamela A. Iannello
Revised Edition 2003
