As we get caught up in our daily lives, the time to reflect upon and
enjoy the glory of God is lost in the shuffle. So too, within our marriages…
Life has a way of crowding out the time needed to build and maintain closeness,
not only between child of God and Savior, but also between husband and
wife. Hence, the distance amid them grows... Yet, this is true only if
we allow it to happen! Perhaps today you have a million and one things
to do, nevertheless I pray that you'll take some time out to go through
our study of Song of Solomon 1:4-8 to learn more about what it takes to
dissolve the distance in your relationship with your husband….
Verse 4:
Draw me, we will run after thee: the king hath brought me into his chambers:
we will be glad and rejoice in thee, we will remember thy love more than
wine:
the upright love thee.
"DRAW ME, WE WILL RUN AFTER THEE"
In the first two words alone, we find that the spouse, the wife, yearns
after physical intimacy and the full assurance of her husband's affection.
She is attracted to her man and seeks to be united with him in all aspects.
The security portrayed in his character draws this woman and she enjoys
total liberty in her husband's presence as depicted in the phrase "we
will run". There is no dread of stumbling but only the anticipation of
progress as the strong man of the house strives to eliminate hindrances.
She is giving away the secret to the budding of the rose that he has picked
for himself - every woman needs to be wooed! And she promises to surrender
as he fosters their love. The relationship between them flows beautifully
and no doubt this couple works together to enlarge their marriage. As
we liken the husband's character to that of the Lord Jesus Christ, we
can surmise that it must be the same great love wherewith Christ
loves us that bolsters the wife. It is this same love that also draws
us closer to the Lord and His Word and assists us in reaching our full
potential...
Psalm 119:32
I will run the way of thy commandments, when thou shalt enlarge my heart.
Of a surety, the Word of God makes it possible for a strong bond to exist
in the home between husband and wife, for it arouses devotion in our hearts.
As we stick by it, the truth will press us forward and also increase determination
through our dependence upon God. I don't care who you are, there isn't
a wedded couple alive that doesn't need better dedication to one another,
renewed resolve to work at achieving and maintaining intimacy, and greater
reliance upon God! However, let us take note, ladies, that this woman's
feet do not take steps that lead her farther away from her husband, but
rather she takes steps in her marriage that will move her closer to him!
Rather than withdrawing, she pursues
her beloved, purposing to run after a more intimate relationship with
him.
I wonder dear lady, do we run after Christ this same way?? You'll notice
in our main text today that nobody has to push this female; she takes
these steps herself. She pledges her affections and undying loyalty to
her king. Do you have to be pushed into a growing relationship with the
Lord? Do you have to be pushed into a growing relationship with your husband,
or do you habitually isolate yourself from both? Will you take full responsibility
to build a healthy, active relationship with your God and your husband?
This woman in Song of Solomon energetically seeks after a dynamic marital
relationship; she runs after and secures a thriving connection with her
man...
1 Corinthians 9:24
Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the
prize? So run, that ye may obtain.
God tells us that if we run prudently, we will receive the prize! You
might be working on your marriage but are you working to win one another?
What is your heart's desire today in this matter, dear lady? Just don't
care anymore? Is romantic love something you chase after or run from?
Yes, there is a willingness
on the spouse's part to yield to the desires of her husband. Therefore,
submission is not regarded as an unpleasant task, but an easy and natural
response the wife has because of the loving influence of her husband's
spirit and the control of the Spirit of God in her life. It is magnetic
in power and draws her closer to him. As is the case with magnets, the
closer they get, the stronger the force is. But the greater the distance
between them, the weaker the force becomes... What do you do when you
notice you and your husband are drifting apart, dear wife? Do you wait
forever for him to do something about it while you pout the whole time
and feel sorry for yourself? This woman in Song of Solomon wisely
runs the distance herself that exists between them just to achieve and
restore intimacy! You must be willing to make that same effort and expend
the same energy. Run to obtain!
"THE KING HATH BROUGHT ME INTO HIS CHAMBERS"
Think about a virgin and her outlook en route for the doors of a room
she has never visited before, namely the king's chambers... Such a room
is clearly representative of that sacred place of intimacy shared between
husband and wife. It can appear to be a very hazardous situation, or it
can be seen as God intended it to be, a place of beauty and ecstasy enjoyed
by both man and wife. What is your perspective concerning the king's chambers
today, dear wife? Do you move toward those doors with pessimism or optimism?
Have you resisted every step that carried you to the entrance of the door
of intimacy with people, specifically your husband? The Bible says the
king brought her; he didn't have to shove his bride into his chambers
because there was a readiness on her part to cross the threshold with
him! Both man and wife need to view the marital chambers as God does so
entrance can be made without inhibition….
Hebrews 13:4-6
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers
and adulterers God will judge. Let your conversation be without covetousness;
and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never
leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my
helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.
Ladies, do you allow the Lord to be the determining factor in your attitude
toward the marriage bed? The Bible says He is our helper, amen? Do you
really believe that? If so, you must believe God is also our helper in
the area of romance within our marriages. We need no other helper but
the Lord! With Him we are not to fear being hurt or taken advantage of
in proceeding in the direction of a more gratifying, intimate relationship
with our husbands. The Lord will never leave us should hurt come our way
when our husbands fail us. Nor will our God ever leave us when we fall
short as wives, but will stay by our side and guide us through every failure
husband and wife are guilty of! Do you trust the Lord to be with you in
all areas of life - including intimacy with your husband? If you did,
you would take your intimate marital struggles to the Lord in prayer!
At that moment you would rest in God and then be content with such things
as ye have in your husband... Following that step, you would confidently
and thoroughly exert yourself to restore and maintain the romance in your
relationship, thereby working against immorality in your home. Where there
is love, there is hospitality. Do you exhibit a welcoming spirit toward
your husband, dear wife, or are you setting him up for temptation? Ask
your heavenly Father, the Creator and Designer of the king's chambers
to help you in your attitude each time you enter this hallowed place.
According to Hebrews 13 above, married couples must be careful to go into
those chambers with the attitude of contentment!
1 Timothy 6:6
But godliness with contentment is great gain.
Ladies, I believe two major barriers to intimacy between husband and wife
are discontent and covetousness. We must never bring these two thieves
into our marriages! It should not be the type of marital communication
that is exchanged between man and wife, whether openly or in a concealed
manner. Married couples have got to work at being content with one another,
making sure the other person feels secure and loved at all times. Each
must be satisfied with the spouse they have, not wishing or fantasizing
they were someone else or just different in general. Both took an oath
to love one another for better or for worse, remember? When discontentment
creeps in between married people it must be voiced to the Lord and not
made public information! Have you made it obvious to everyone that you
are unhappy with your husband? Man and wife must be prepared to love each
other in the least condition, trusting the Lord to make any necessary
changes as prayer is made and obedience exemplified in the concerned party.
In addition, dear wife, take care that you do not covet another woman's
husband, or any other man for that matter! Check your disposition: do
you desire something more than God has given you; are you seeking to rob
another woman of what she has obtained with her husband? Far too many
women employ busy themselves longing after what they don't have rather
than what they do have! These two thieves, discontent and covetousness,
whisper lies and separate very friends, they create huge distances between
and even separate man and wife, resulting in the death of their relationship
altogether! They are hindrances to running so that we may obtain. Devotion
to Christ should always guide our demeanor and characterize the Christian.
(Marital Math: + Jesus - you = contentment)
James 1:14-16
But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.
Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it
is finished, bringeth forth death. Do not err, my beloved brethren.
Women are just as guilty of being discontent as men are. Wives, we are
guilty of entering the chambers of intimacy with mental rubbish in regard
to our husbands and even ourselves. Let's be honest, we often wish they
were more accomplished in certain areas of life. Therefore, we end up
not reverencing our husbands in our hearts and minds, as we should. Do
you talk freely and regularly to your friends and family about your husband's
negative qualities, mistakes, or the various ways that he has offended
you? Do you constantly talk to yourself about your beloved's shortcomings??
Do you covet certain qualities you see in other men that you wish were
present in your husband? How many hints of your dissatisfaction have you
layered upon his ears? Tell me ladies, can you enter into an intimate
relationship with your husband minus respect and admiration for him, dragging
around his shortcomings, and then expect to find total fulfillment in
your physical relationship?? It simply won't happen! You will miss out
on great gain.
Proverbs 10:12
Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.
How about your own failures... Do you constantly bring them to the forefront
of your mind and drag into the chambers of intimacy your inadequacies,
destroying all hope of unified pleasure with your pain? Leave your failures
(and his!) with the Lord and let God be your helper in them all! Then
you'll be free to enter into the king's chambers trusting in the Lord's
forgiveness for your iniquities
and extending your forgiveness to your husband for his! Ladies, this is
how passion is restored and the fullest joy is experienced between husband
and wife. This is how romance is kept alive in our marriages... Dispose
of the mental crud, the covetousness and discontentment with one another,
and pave the way for pure pleasure!
"WE WILL BE GLAD AND REJOICE IN THEE"
As you have come to realize, marriage does not have to be an institution
of grief, but can be a factory of joy! Misery vanishes away in the Lord's
presence…. Be sure that you are personally meeting with the Lord on a
daily basis! Meet with God first so you can properly meet with one another,
amen? Meet the Savior alone and meet Him together as husband and wife,
if possible. Get on your knees before the Lord in prayer over the areas
that your marriage is weakest. Purpose in your heart before the Lord that
you will do what is necessary to increase the flow of love between you.
If you are reaping a bad marriage then bad seed has been sown, it's as
simple as that. If you want a precious marriage, then sow precious seed,
not worthless seed, and dissolve the distance that exists in your home,
however small. Don't let your tears hinder your sowing. Ladies, in seeking
the Lord as your Helper, you won't come away empty-handed or empty-hearted,
for there is a bountiful harvest coming up for those who do right. God
will fill your arms with more than you ever thought possible and turn
your exile into ecstasy! You'll both come away rejoicing - in the Lord,
and in your marriage…
Psalm 126:3-6
The Lord hath done great things for us; whereof we are glad. Turn again
our captivity, O Lord, as the streams in the south. They that sow in tears
shall reap in joy. He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed,
shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.
God Bless,
Pam
Isaiah 60:1&2
Copyright 2000 Pamela A. Iannello
