Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will
not depart from it.
There probably isn't a Christian alive that hasn't read the above verse
a time or two. We all know that children require daily and diligent tutoring
in the manner they must live and that it is a command of God that as parents
we do so faithfully. Naturally, as we are confronted with this scripture
we would do well to pause and reflect upon our attitude toward the word
"train". Do you like to train your children, dear mother? Do you want
to train your children? You see ladies; if we have a "train up" attitude
toward our children then we would reckon it a good thing to spend countless
hours with them for this holy purpose. However, what I sense in many mothers
today, including Christian mothers, is a "put up" attitude as a substitute.
A "train up" attitude wants children around as much as possible while
a "put up" attitude doesn't, in view of the fact that raising children
is considered a burden rather than a blessing.
Would you say you typically face the day with the mind-set that if you've
got to "put up" with your children another day you'll simply go crazy?
Do you drive around town or thumb through the yellow pages seeking the
names of the countless churches that now host "Mother's Day Out" programs
just to be free from the kiddies you say you care about? Frankly, I find
it disturbing that a church would assist mothers in escaping their God
given duties! What kind of a support system is that?? In my estimation,
something is seriously wrong with mommy's heart…
Deut. 6:6-7
And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:
And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk
of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the
way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
Ladies, where else would love be found but in the heart? If love for the
Word of God coupled with a love for your children is not in your heart,
it does not exist! If you don't highly prize the scriptures and consider
it a privilege to have the very words that would press you to esteem the
training of your children also a privilege, where is the hope that the
right attitude shall ever reign within you?? It takes great diligence
to put the truth into our own hearts, amen? Likewise great diligence is
required to put the truth into the hearts of our children! How do you
suppose this will happen if mothers are in constant need of another "day
out"? God will never become the center of your children's lives if He
is not the center of your life, dear mother! To be self-centered is to
shortchange your children of a holy upbringing. According to the Bible,
God has intended that mothers stay IN their homes, not out of them! Is
your life organized around the Lord, or you?
1 Tim. 5:14
I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the
house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
Let me take a moment to share an excerpt I found on the Internet describing
the purpose behind one of the thousands of Mother's Day Out programs in
progress:
We are excited about the opportunity to minister to you and your child
through our Mother's Day Out (MDO) ministry. Our goal is four-fold:
1) Help your child grow spiritually.
2) Help your child grow intellectually.
3) Help your child grow physically.
4) Help your child grow socially.
To that end, we use a Bible based curriculum. In addition to Bible stories
and Chapel experiences, the curriculum integrates biblical principles
into math, science, language, cooking, art, guided play, listening, music,
writing, drama, gross motor skills, tactile experiences, and more.
I find it interesting that this outline sounds exactly like what God commands
a parent to do for their children, yet who is frequently filling this
position? None other than a substitute! These days mommy needs to be relieved
of such burdens as helping her preschool child grow spiritually, intellectually,
physically and socially. Instead, mommy's development has taken priority.
Forgive me, but shouldn't that have taken place already? Why do adults
wait to have children to decide to grow up? What supposedly started out
as a ministry has ended up in the daycare business! It seems to me churches
of today are robbing young children of their mothers in order to build
their membership…
Our program is designed to provide a child care opportunity for parents
who stay home and care for their children during the week. We provide
a quality experience for the preschoolers, including a Bible Story and
age-appropriate activities.
This ministry is for members and families who are seriously considering
making our church their church home. Parents who are prospective members
may participate in our program in the prospective member status for two
months. (A prospective member is defined as someone who is currently attending
our church activities as a guest.)
If the goal is really to minister and support careworn mothers, then as
a body of believers, we should follow God's program!
Titus 2:3-5
The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness,
not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; [4]
That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands,
to love their children, [5] To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good,
obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Yes, God expects older women to train young women to face their duties
with the right heart, not leave their post. This is the type of tutoring
arrangement God approves. If truth be told, we should change the name
of the whole concept to "Frequent Flyer Program" rather than "Mother's
Day Out" and sober everyone up to look at things as they have become!
Ladies, a young woman who is not serious about being a wife and mother
has no right to marry or have children - it's as simple as that. If she
can't count the cost of being AT HOME day by day without need for recurring
flight, then her heart needs much help! God's love has more staying power
than that! Such a woman needs a deeper relationship with the Lord, not
more time to herself.
Truthfully, I am amazed at the lack of endurance in mothers in general
today. My own mother had 10 children and NEVER once experienced a day
out or a day off and I am proud to say she has not lost her mind or her
identity. You see, home was a workplace, not a playground for my mother!
She had a sober mindset toward her countless responsibilities joined with
soundness of heart, and she was happy! Hence, my mother thoroughly and
adequately trained all of us. As a matter of fact, not one of my four
sisters grew to crave life outside the home. We have each found our purpose
in married life and parenting. Because my mother fulfilled her role at
home, the church was never taxed with our needs. If you'll remember, it
is God's own design that family members assume their own responsibilities
and prevent the church from having to relieve widows. (1 Tim. 5:16) This
being the case, why would the church be expected to relieve a woman who
has a husband??
1 Tim. 5:8
But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own
house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
Are you providing for your own children, dear mother? Are you imparting
proper love unto them? What can the little ones that live under the same
roof with you expect from you on a daily basis? Are you sufficiently supplying
them with spiritual, intellectual, physical, and social training, or have
you turned that over to someone else or let it go altogether? Is it a
practice of yours to avoid spending time with your children or is there
sincere desire in your heart to roll up your sleeves and live out Biblical
motherhood? By the way, does your church maintain the belief that older
women are to minister to the hearts of young women by teaching sobriety
in this area? If not, I don't mind telling you that you are not part of
a church that carries out a godly tutoring program for mothers! The poor
condition of children today is the crime of the mother, for home is no
longer where the heart is.
Proverbs 29:15b
…but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.
I would hope none of you really wants to be reduced to a shameful state.
Ladies, an improved relationship with the Lord would lead you away from
dishonorable status and provoke you to feel for and provide better care
for all your family members - husband, children and other relatives too!
Everyone will be affected one way or another by the condition of your
heart. You will prize your time with your loved ones, not pitch it away.
Rather than ignoring their needs you will engross yourself in meeting
them - without obsession for your own. Stop following your emotions and
start following God's commands and I guarantee your children will accelerate
along with you!
God Bless,
Pam
Isaiah 60:1&2
Copyright 2003 Pamela A. Iannello
