Evaluating Myself As A Mother: How do I relate to my children?
Because we are a church that targets home life, it has been my perception
that Christian mothers are waning in their mothering skills. When there
is slackness to the practice of child training, like it or not, a lack
of humble obedience allowed in your home shows up in the various ministries
in the church through which children are involved.
It’s usually the same children that just can’t follow authority
without question or complaint.
1 Tim. 3:4-5 (KJV)
One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection
with all gravity; [5] (For if a man know not how to rule his own house,
how shall he take care of the church of God?)
Stop and consider whether or not you have begun to waver in your dealings
with your children. Do you vacillate between the right and wrong way to
correct them, or question whether discipline is needed at all? Very often
there is a parental tendency to view one’s children as sufferers
of someone or something rather than small, medium, or large persons capable
of committing their own acts of sin!
Children do not need to understand or approve what they are asked to
do, but must do so because it is the parent’s command, or any fixed
authority for that matter.
Whose strength of command is greatest in your home, yours or your children?
YOUR CHILDREN ARE NOT:
YOUR TROPHY (symbolic of achievment; a token of skill)
Psalm 127:3, “Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.”
YOUR PET (a little creature fondled and indulged)
Matthew 10:37, “He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
Proverbs 19:18, “Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.”
YOUR GUIDANCE COUNSELOR (one who is authorized to advise another)
Psalm 32:8, “I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.”
Psalm 48:14, “For this God is our God for ever and ever: he will be our guide even unto death.”
YOUR TUTOR (a private instructor employed to assist students in preparing for exams)
John 14:26, “But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.”
YOUR HOLY SPIRIT (the sanctifier of souls; the convincer of sin)
John 16:7-8, “Nevertheless I tell you the truth; It is expedient for you that I go away: for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you; but if I depart, I will send him unto you. [8] And when he is come, he will reprove the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment:”
John 16:13, “Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come.”
YOUR SPOUSE (either member of a married pair)
Matthew 19:4-5, “And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, [5] And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?”
1 Cor. 7:34, “There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.”
YOUR MAID (a young woman employed to do what you don’t like doing)
Proverbs 31:27, “She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.”
1 Thes. 4:11, “And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you;”
YOUR ASSOCIATE (a partner in all your endeavors)
Hebrews 13:17, “Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.”
YOUR COMPETITION (striving to obtain advantage over some other person or group)
Deut. 5:16, “Honour thy father and thy mother, as the Lord thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.”
Philip. 2:3a, “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory…
Galatians 5:26, “Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.”
YOUR BOSS (domineering, authoritative, superintends affairs, manager)
Ephes. 5:22, Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.”
(not your children!)
Example: Judges 14:2, “And he came up, and told his father and his mother, and said, I have seen a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines: now therefore get her for me to wife.”
YOUR PARENT (a father or mother; God-ordained overseers of their offspring)
Ephes. 6:1, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.”
Ephes. 5:23, “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.”
A THIRD PARENT
Titus 2:9, “Exhort servants to be obedient unto their own masters,
and to please them well in all things; not answering again;”
Ex: Luke 10:40, “Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.”
YOUR JUDGE (one qualified to pass a critical judgment)
Proverbs 6:20, “My son, keep thy father's commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother:”
Proverbs 30:11, “There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother.”
Proverbs 30:17, “The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it.”
YOUR SCAPE GOAT (one who is made to bear the blame or suffer in your place)
Job 19:4, “And be it indeed that I have erred, mine error remaineth with myself.”
Deut. 24:16, “The fathers shall not be put to death for the children, neither shall the children be put to death for the fathers: every man shall be put to death for his own sin.”
Galatians 6:5, “For every man shall bear his own burden.”
Romans 14:12, “So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.”
Example: Genesis 3:12-13, “And the man said, The woman whom thou
gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat. [13] And
the Lord God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And
the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.”
YOUR SECURITY BLANKET (used as a covering for certain conditions)
Psalm 118:8-9, “It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man. [9] It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in princes.”
Proverbs 28:13, “He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.”
Jeremiah 3:25, “We lie down in our shame, and our confusion covereth us: for we have sinned against the Lord our God, we and our fathers, from our youth even unto this day, and have not obeyed the voice of the Lord our God.”
YOUR GARBAGE CAN
1 Peter 5:7, “Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.”
Psalm 55:22, “Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.”
Psalm 50:15, “And call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.”
A TOOL IN YOUR TOOL KIT ( a person used by another for his own ends)
Romans 6:13, “Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God.”
Example: Matthew 20:20-24, “Then came to him the mother of Zebedee's children with her sons, worshipping him, and desiring a certain thing of him. [21] And he said unto her, What wilt thou? She saith unto him, Grant that these my two sons may sit, the one on thy right hand, and the other on the left, in thy kingdom. [22] But Jesus answered and said, Ye know not what ye ask. Are ye able to drink of the cup that I shall drink of, and to be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with? They say unto him, We are able. [23] And he saith unto them, Ye shall drink indeed of my cup, and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with: but to sit on my right hand, and on my left, is not mine to give, but it shall be given to them for whom it is prepared of my Father. [24] And when the ten heard it, they were moved with indignation against the two brethren.”
**Read Story of Herodias Mt.14:1-11**
Proverbs 20:11, “Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right.”
YOUR DREAM COME TRUE (your personal desires acted out in your children)
Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”
Lament. 3:26, “It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord.”
Psalm 37:4, “Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.”
Ladies, if you press your child into any one of these positions, you force them to live independently of parental authority, thus forsaking your duty to prepare them for God’s use and glory. Not relating to them with a Biblical perspective will seriously affect your training skills as a parent. You will tend to withhold correction if you think your child your equal or even better than you. If your children are functioning in any capacity other than that of child, YOU have created a monster! Not to mention the fact that you have also perverted God’s authority over your life.
Evaluate yourself today. Have you, as a mother, adopted a self-serving style of parenting or followed the true Biblical style?
Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will
not depart from it.
· The reason this verse doesn’t always come true is because
of a training problem! Children must be raised entirely dedicated to God,
not in ways dedicated to your purposes or simply left to their own ideas!
· Training is not simply the enforcing of rules but is more developing
the will of the child to obey authority, thus forming habits of obedience.
· Parenting is not just pointing out mistakes but guiding children’s
hearts and minds in the way they should go; thereby avoiding mistakes
and seeing that obedience is possible!!!
God Bless,
Pam
Isaiah 60:1&2
Copyright 2004 Pamela A. Iannello
