As we look at Song of Solomon 1:6 today, we find the spouse continues
to describe herself. There is an indication others have not found her
attractive. Nonetheless, there are qualities besides physical attractiveness
that a potential marriage partner should possess…
Look not upon me, because I am black, because the sun hath looked upon
me: my mother's children were angry with me; they made me the keeper of
the vineyards; but mine own vineyard have I not kept.
Ladies, living under the sun, or rather living in this world, tarnishes
us in many ways. That's one of the many reasons we struggle with intimacy
as we do. The affects this world has upon each and every one of us shapes
our hearts and like tanned skin, we become calloused due to the severity
of the climate we may have endured. We have all been blistered at one
time or another by a range of scorching stimuli, particularly family.
As a result, such hard usage causes us to neglect care for our own souls.
Becoming entangled with this world causes bondage to sin, weariness to
our flesh, and heaviness to our spirits. However, when the love of Christ
is manifested to us, a great change takes place!
If you've been set free by the blood of Jesus, is that change visibly
evident in your life today, dear lady? As attentive observers pass by
and view it, is there a notable difference to your vineyard, or do things
look pretty much the same as they used to? Are you paying attention to
your vineyard? In other words, do you possess a spirit of faithfulness?
How true have you been to the Lord Jesus Christ since He saved you? You
see, infidelity to the Lord leads to infidelity to man. If we are not
diligently keeping our own vineyards - not cultivating our own souls so
that they may bring forth fruit unto the glory of God - then how well
can our marriages really be doing??
Proverbs 24:30-34
I went by the field of the slothful, and by the vineyard of the man void
of understanding; And, lo, it was all grown over with thorns, and nettles
had covered the face thereof, and the stone wall thereof was broken down.
Then I saw, and considered it well: I looked upon it, and received instruction.
Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to
sleep: So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth; and thy want
as an armed man.
Sadly enough, the description above closely resembles the state of affairs
in many homes today - even Christian ones! Marriage is one of the fruits
of your life, O wife, one of the many grapes that hang on your vine, gathered
together with the grapes of motherhood, friendships, ministry etc. Are
you raising fruits for the support of them? Together, these responsibilities
are what make up our vineyards, and vineyards need to be kept; they need
to be looked after and tended on a daily basis. Not one area should be
neglected. Each part needs to be weeded, watered, and watched over day
by day. Otherwise, how can we expect a bountiful harvest?? Are you doing
little things each day to keep your vineyard in good shape? Do not allow
laziness to be the reason for your marital poverty!
Proverbs 31:16
She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she
planteth a vineyard.
Intimacy is not instantly achieved; it is cultivated over the years and
it must be carefully maintained with an eye for detail. The Proverbs 31
woman understood this truth and so diligently and conscientiously worked
in her vineyard… I wonder; are you selfishly expecting to reap a closer
relationship with your husband without any exertion on your part? Are
you awaiting a harvest of intimacy whilst you are busily tending to other
areas of your life more than your marriage? Perhaps you think your relationship
is too much work or you've simply considered other things to be more important.
Our marriages should not be permitted to suffer while we cultivate another
area of our life. We ought to faithfully see that the whole of our lives
is producing fruit!
Psalm 128:2
For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and
it shall be well with thee.
Ladies, we cannot live on the labors of other people; we must work with
our own hands! And so, YOU must set some time aside to plant intimacy
if you're going to expect to grow it and harvest it. Growth must be supervised.
If you find along the way that there is a rock in the soil of your heart
that might hinder your planting, it is your responsibility to get it out
of the way, not your husband's, or even God's! If you see the rock, then
you must remove it or it will become a problem area for you. Only a fool
would overlook the field that feeds him! How many rocks have you let remain
in your heart over the years, O wife, only to become apathetic to the
progress of your marriage because of it? Now today you complain because
you want to enjoy a closer relationship with your husband but you didn't
do your part years ago to ensure that you could this day! Be faithful
- keep the ground of your heart free of any interference so intimacy can
be deposited and harvested in even future seasons of your marriage! Stop
looking over other people's fences to see how their vineyards are doing
and tend to your own for a change! Otherwise you might find you'll lose
yours altogether...
John 15:1-5
I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman. Every branch in me
that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit,
he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit. Now ye are clean through
the word which I have spoken unto you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the
branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more
can ye, except ye abide in me. I am the vine, ye are the branches: He
that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit:
for without me ye can do nothing.
Farming is hard work and most farmers need help. Hence, we are going to
need God's help if we are going to try to develop closeness in our marriages,
especially if it's a crop we've never grown before! The secret to success
is found through abiding in Christ. Not just when trials come, but all
the time! Without Jesus, we can do nothing the Bible says. That means
we cannot reap intimacy with our husbands without first establishing a
close relationship with the Lord. Be united to Christ and continue with
that union - it is essential to the survival of our marriages! Are you
depending upon your heavenly Father for help to cultivate right things,
dear lady? Only spiritual Christians can bear lasting fruit. Those who
abide not in Christ, though they may do well for a while in superficial
service, yet come to nothing. Our lives will only wither up and blow away
unless we faithfully stick by God and have a mind to work! Likewise, our
affections for our husbands will quickly deteriorate. Many marriages already
bear a resemblance to tumbleweed; don't let yours fall into that category
because of neglect! A lack of priority will destroy you. Abide in the
Lord and His Words and be assured of a harvest of happiness and a life
of sweet intimacy with your husband! Your vineyard is at stake!
God Bless,
Pam
Isaiah 60:1&2
Copyright 2000 Pamela A. Iannello
