I have a little scenario I want to share with you this morning before
we get started, something that takes place every day in the hearts of
people, even believers - maybe even you! I'm going to create a person
we'll name Joan. Joan has a problem; maybe you can help me figure out
how to counsel her. Her problem is jealousy. Joan is jealous of everyone
- her sister, her mother, other ladies in her church, and even her husband
from time to time. Envy is a sin, and as a Christian, Joan knows it to
be so. She covets the money, clothes, friends, abilities, influence etc.
that others possess. Because of this, Joan spends a lot of time wondering
why she is not blessed as others are. This type of thinking of course,
leads Joan straight into self-pity. And as she wallows in the same pattern
of thoughts she has always had, her problems seem to grow larger... Not
surprisingly, her depression accelerates and her envy skyrockets to new
heights. What would YOU counsel Joan to do??
First of all, let's consider just what human jealousy is... Simply put,
it's a strong displeasure over the advantages or prosperity of others.
The Bible says in Proverbs that jealousy is the rage of a man - it burns
within and literally drives one wild! Nothing short of the grace of God
is going to enable Joan to "put off" the old ways in which she is trapped
and "put on" God's pattern of life. Like you and I, Joan has developed
sinful patterns that send her into a tailspin every time she learned of
the good fortunes of a friend or noted the skillful use of another's gifts,
or admired the appearance of another woman. Her view is distorted and
if Joan is ever going to overcome such destructive behavior, we must counsel
her to acknowledge and repent of her raging covetousness so that she can
turn to a more constructive way of life!
Proverbs 27:4 (KJV)
Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous; but who is able to stand before
envy?
Though circumstances may vary, we've all had to come to this same place
in our lives as believers and will many times again. It's the way we grow
and break the hold that sin has over us! How would you describe your feelings
today about someone you know for whom everything seems to go right? Is
there anything raging in your heart today of which you should repent?
You can't stand before envy! Why not join Joan and just admit where you
are wrong and get your heart right before things get worse, as they did
in the case of Saul and David…
1 Samuel 18:5-11 (KJV)
And David went out whithersoever Saul sent him, and behaved himself wisely:
and Saul set him over the men of war, and he was accepted in the sight
of all the people, and also in the sight of Saul's servants. [6] And it
came to pass as they came, when David was returned from the slaughter
of the Philistine, that the women came out of all cities of Israel, singing
and dancing, to meet king Saul, with tabrets, with joy, and with instruments
of musick. [7] And the women answered one another as they played, and
said, Saul hath slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands. [8]
And Saul was very wroth, and the saying displeased him; and he said, They
have ascribed unto David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed but
thousands: and what can he have more but the kingdom? [9] And Saul eyed
David from that day and forward. [10] And it came to pass on the morrow,
that the evil spirit from God came upon Saul, and he prophesied in the
midst of the house: and David played with his hand, as at other times:
and there was a javelin in Saul's hand. [11] And Saul cast the javelin;
for he said, I will smite David even to the wall with it. And David avoided
out of his presence twice.
It seemed everyone responded to David in a positive way - except for Saul.
Saul's appreciation for David turned to jealousy as people began to applaud
David's exploits. In a jealous rage, Saul attempted to murder David by
hurling his javelin at him. Jealousy may not seem to be a major sin to
you, but in reality, it is one step short of murder! Jealousy starts as
we resent a rival; it leads to our wishing he or she were removed; then
it manifests itself in our seeking ways to harm that person in word or
action. William Penn made a wise observation when he said, "The jealous
are troublesome to others; a torment to themselves." Ladies, we must beware
of letting jealousy get a foothold in our lives…
Eccles. 4:4 (KJV)
Again, I considered all travail, and every right work, that for this a
man is envied of his neighbour. This is also vanity and vexation of spirit.
Saul tried to kill David because he was jealous of his popularity, his
strengths and his accomplishments. Like Saul, the minute we ascribe to
the qualities of someone and begin to eye others improperly with sinful,
envious hearts, we are going to reach for that same shiny javelin, something
sharp to throw at that one of whom we are envious. It will most likely
be treacherous, something that will snuff the life right out of the other
person. You see ladies, in actuality, we want those whom we envy completely
removed from our lives, along with the threat of them ever coming back!
Our self centered thinking leaves no room at all for the good of others.
As his jealousy quickly progressed, we find in verse 25 of 1 Samuel 18,
Saul arranges to send David into battle so that he would fall at the hands
of the Phillistines and be killed! I hope you've never tried to set someone
up for calamity! Why might we wish for something bad to happen to a rival
rather than choosing actually to harm that person ourselves? Is it so
you can have your cake and eat it too - minus the guilt?? Whatever the
motive, it is deeply rooted in the fact that we are not willing to admit
we are full of envy, nor ready to repent of it… We have opened ourselves
up to the wrong spirit and are therefore driven by its cruelty, no longer
controlled by the Holy Spirit of God!
Song 8:6 (KJV)
Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love
is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof
are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame.
The only choice innocent David was left with when Saul threw that deadly
javelin at him twice was to avoid his presence altogether, and he had
to do so on many other occasions. David was no dummy - he knew when he
was being targeted! And ladies, when our obnoxious comments or pointed
stares are cast in their direction, it is perfectly clear to the one you
loathe (and those standing nearby) what is going on with you! You can't
mistake a covetous spirit or hide it. It is a driving force that distorts
not only your thinking, but also your countenance! Are you the cause of
someone having to avoid your presence because of your tormenting problem
with envy, because of the invisible javelin you are holding in your hand,
poised and ready to throw at them? Please put it down and repent, won't
you? Love is the best weapon against jealousy…
Romans 12:9-10 (KJV)
Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to
that which is good. [10] Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly
love; in honour preferring one another..
Romans 13:8-10 (KJV)
Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another
hath fulfilled the law. [9] For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery,
Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness,
Thou shalt not covet; and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly
comprehended in this saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as
thyself. [10] Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love is
the fulfilling of the law.
This is precisely what Joan needs to learn, and this is what you and I
need to learn today as well! Love values the virtue of others; it doesn't
attack them. One of the greatest expressions of love is to pray for one
another. This is exactly what Christ did for us when He hung on the cross
for our sins…
Luke 23:34 (KJV)
Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do...
Somebody needs to tell Joan that she needs to pray for those of whom she
is jealous - does somebody need to tell YOU that today?? Ask God for the
strength to love that rival in your life, that one you begrudge. Pray
continually for their welfare - not generally either, but specifically.
For instance, rather than envying them, why not pray for the healthy outcome
of a growing relationship between you and the person or persons of which
you are jealous, those you consider to be your opponents. Then afterward,
purpose in your heart to do good to those individuals, and you'll find
your heart will soon repair itself. BUT remember Philippians 2:3, which
says, "Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness
of mind let each esteem other better than themselves." There is no greater
enemy to Christian love than pride and passion! Pride even makes it possible
to bestow honors on those we resent. Have you deceived yourself into thinking
you don't wrestle with jealousy simply because of your involvement in
benevolent activities? God knows if you are performing good simply to
promote your own reputation! Do right with a pure and humble heart.
Romans 13:13 (KJV)
Let us walk honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not
in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying.
We should also LOOK for the good in those of whom we envy. Learn to appreciate
the qualities, the gifts, the successes etc. in others lives rather than
becoming jealous of them. Express that appreciation in a healthy way,
first to the Lord in prayer, and then to the one you resent. You see ladies;
jealousy forces you to separate yourself from what you were longing for
in the first place! I'm going to challenge you today to go and speak to
that person you are jealous of about their abilities. Ask them how they
acquired their skills, their successes, or whatever it is that you are
coveting after in their life, and maybe you'll find that they excelled
through disciplined effort and obedience to God and not as you had cruelly
surmised. Perhaps you'll learn a thing or two about this person you envy
that will help you discover and develop your own gifts to the fullest
for God's glory! To do so will prevent the wrong spirit from holding you
back in ministering appropriately to others. I think you'll find when
using love as a weapon you'll start to become thankful for what the Lord
has done, not only for those you eye, but also in your own life! As a
result, with God's help you'll overcome your tendency toward self-pity
too. Ladies, in dealing properly with our jealousies, we can become transformed!
Many good things come of using the right weapon. Let the Spirit of God
turn childish energies previously employed for feeding the flesh into
the production of mature fruit in your life!
1 Peter 2:1-2 (KJV)
Wherefore laying aside all malice, and all guile, and hypocrisies, and
envies, and all evil speakings, [2] As newborn babes, desire the sincere
milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:
Yes, becoming like Jesus is the answer to our human jealousies. It's the
answer we should give to people like Joan when we are counseling them.
It's the advice we must take ourselves if we are wrestling with this issue
today! Get your relief through repentance; put an end to the war that
has been raging within your soul; let go of your javelin and pick up the
cross of Christ…
God Bless,
Pam
Isaiah 60:1&2
Copyright 2000 Pamela A. Iannello
Revised 2003
