Married women earnestly desire to share all facets of life with their
husbands, especially the solemn side. We long to be included even in their
relationship with the Lord. This is proven true in the life of the spouse
mentioned in Song of Solomon chapter one. Let's read again verse 7 and
pay attention to how this woman puts words to her heart's desire and see
if it describes the way you feel about being included in your husband's
life...
Tell me, O thou whom my soul loveth, where thou feedest, where thou makest
thy flock to rest at noon: for why should I be as one that turneth aside
by the flocks of thy companions?
WHERE THOU FEEDEST, WHERE THOU MAKEST THY FLOCK TO REST
Every wife wants to be included in spiritual matters with the one whom
her soul loves. She needs to be taken to the place where her man finds
spiritual food, rest, and comfort in the scriptures so that she may also
rest there beside the still waters with him. Husbands should endeavor
to be the spiritual leaders in their home, for spiritual leadership is
key to intimate relationships with every member of the family. As the
weaker vessels in the home, it helps us to know whom our men are looking
to for wisdom.
Now ladies, that means one thing for us… We must adopt the same attitude
that the spouse has - a desire to follow her beloved! We are going to
have to develop a willingness to come under our husband's direction and
spiritual leadership. Can you remember a time you voluntarily yielded
to your husband's headship in love? You can't whine and complain and wish
that he were better at being the spiritual head of your home and then
turn around and stubbornly refuse to follow his leading whenever he tries
to do so! For instance, have you been praying for your husband to start
up family devotions? Perhaps he has conducted them in the past, and you
are wondering why he doesn't care to do them anymore. Think back on what
your attitude was like whenever your husband tried to take the lead, even
if it wasn't in spiritual matters. Do you have a habit of always questioning
him, debating with him, pointing out scriptures to him, usurping his authority
all over the place? No wonder a large percentage of Christian men shirk
taking the lead - Christian wives treat their husbands like they may as
well wear a dunce cap, especially when they make any attempt at being
the spiritual leader!
Ephes. 5:33
Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even
as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
It's not just your husband that needs to grow, dear lady; you've got a
few things to learn yourself, beginning with respect! If you truly want
to share an intimate spiritual relationship with your husband, you must
allow the Lord room to speak to him - so keep quiet! Maybe your husband
can't hear the Holy Spirit because your voice is too loud. There's an
old expression that says, "If you ride a horse, sit close and tight; if
you ride a man, sit easy and light." Could it be you are acting as if
your husband were a horse?? Do you earnestly seek to close the gap between
the two of you and follow him as the spiritual head of your home? Are
you reverencing him in his decisions or riding him? God has given your
husband the authority to have the last word in decision-making, not you!
Ephesians 5:22
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Though our plans and ideas may differ at times as man and wife, our hearts
never should! What man in his right mind would risk baring his soul before
the Lord in front of his wife if she has made it clear she thinks him
a spiritual moron every chance she gets?? Maybe your husband isn't what
you would consider to be a "super-Christian", but if he is attempting
to follow the Lord, why don't you commend him for a change? Keep your
heart lined up underneath your husband; encourage intimacy by your willingness
to follow. Do all things without murmurings and disputings. (Phil. 2:14)
The Lord commands wives to surrender themselves to the headship of their
own husbands; it is a personal order for everyone of us and it is intimacy
in action! Are you waiting for perfection on his part before you'll take
that initial step? Be patient and content, dear wife! God has not given
up on your husband; why should you?? Try praising him for his efforts
and attempts to lead your home in a godly direction, no matter how small
they might be. Thank him when he does hold family devotions, though perhaps
infrequent. Let him know how special it makes you feel when he does ask
you to pray with him or offers to pray for you. Stop yourself from spitting
out those criticisms, from correcting him, debating with him, questioning
him, grumbling over his decisions etc. even if you have to super glue
your lips together! These are all fruits of an unsubmissive mind… Stop
fretting over your husband's submission problem and take care of your
own! Let God have room to train your man to be a leader while you work
diligently on being a better follower…
Genesis 3:16b
…and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
Ladies, Eve jeopardized her intimacy with Adam when she refused to submit
to God's rule in the Garden of Eden. Hence, their fellowship with God
and one another was spoiled. Are you guilty of the same? Have you refused
God's command to submit to your husband's headship? Why do you fight against
the very thing you have been praying for? At present, would you say that
your desire is to your husband or to yourself? Are you enhancing God's
"one flesh" design or subtracting from it? Don't let the devil deceive
you, too! Remember that closeness is not cultivated in the soil of self-interest
or self-preference, for these are sources of separation. Subject yourself
to the will of your husband as it is fit in the Lord and you will subject
yourself to intimacy with him!
God Bless,
Pam
Isaiah 60:1&2
Copyright 2000 Pamela A. Iannello
