If you were choosing a church (or a cluster of friends), what similarities to yourself would help you feel comfortable? What functions of a church do you feel are most important? What differences from yourself would you accept among the members - or even want? Think about it ladies, would you really like a whole church filled with people just like YOU?? Why or why not? Diversity among people is something that can cause frustration, yet at the same time, God shows us that it is necessary and part of His unique and wise plan for the body of Christ! Turn with me to a well known portion of scripture - 1 Corinthians 12, and let's begin reading in verse 12....
"For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also is Christ."
We find here that in using the picture of the Trinity, the Lord has shown us in Christ, that differences are necessary! The Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit all have different roles in the life of a Christian and even an unbeliever, yet each one is significant. Which of these three do you think you and I could do without?? Could you imagine doing without the Father? Could you imagine doing without the Son? Could you imagine doing without the Holy Spirit? With all three of them there is life, yet without one there would be death - either to our soul or our body, amen? The Trinity is a unit that should not, nor cannot be pulled apart! We therefore learn also from this verse alone, that in diversity there must also be a balance....
Vs. 13-14, "For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free; and have been all made to drink into one Spirit. For the body is not one member, but many."
Scripture makes it clear that it is absurd for us to think that all of us should be the same, amen? We who are saved all belong to the body of Christ - the church as a whole unit. To pull that unit apart would be to overlook the sovereignty of God in light of our differences! Are we to believe that God made a mistake because we are all different?? Of course not! Neither is diversity inferiority, but brings many benefits to the whole.
Now ladies, I want you to think for a moment how you view your husband in light of this understanding.... Have you been expecting him to be just like you? Are you frustrated with him for not sharing more similarities with you? Have you been expecting him to think, feel, respond, or even operate just like a woman?? Guess what? He can't!! God, in His sovereignty has placed a unique design upon man and made him DIFFERENT from woman! If we could just accept this truth, we would find it easier to accept our husbands for the individuals they are! Many married men and women today are guilty of divorcing for the simple fact that they have never learned to live with someone who is different from them.... They have forgotten to trust the Lord who reigns over those differences and refused to live a life of dependency upon God and one another....
Vs. 15-18, "If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? And if the ear shall say, Because I am not the eye, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing: If the whole were hearing, where were the smelling? But now hath GOD set the members every one of them in the body AS IT HATH PLEASED HIM."
Marriage is two people coming together to make up one whole, amen? And it needs to be balanced between unity and diversity.... As God views our marriages, He does not see it not in part, but in the whole. And ladies, that's the way we need to look at our marriage too, amen? The place we hold and the gifts of each spouse has been determined by the Lord. It is not only foolish, but disobedient for us to covet or even dislike qualities which belong to our spouse. We should do the duties of our own place, and not murmur, or quarrel with one another. Husbands and wives both bring important and distinctive qualities to the marriage relationship. At times, my husband might be the foot that gets the job done in a particular area that I might not like to handle. For example, I do not like to call insurance companies to find out the details of a particular policy. When the job needs doing, my husband is the foot that puts action to it! I depend on him for that. On the other hand, he is a busy man and with much on his mind might miss the specifics of what is going on at home with our children. My being at home allows me the privilege of being the eye or the ear as I listen and observe where their hearts are at and can then relay to him later what is going on with his children so that he doesn't miss a thing. He depends on me for that. Stop and think for a moment the different roles that you and your husband fill at various times in your marriage and you will see the importance of your differences and how they contribute to the unity of your home. Ladies, we must not condemn each other for this sovereign design but rather yield to God's wise plan and make it work for us! We need to learn how to use our differences and humbly depend upon one another, thus promoting marital unity. Trouble is, we spend more time fighting against God's design of diversity, don't we? I've heard many a wife complain about the qualities she wishes her husband had or didn't have - I've even been guilty of it myself! Usually the qualities the wife wants her husband to have are the ones the wife is strongest in!! In essence, what we husbands and wives are complaining about is clear in scripture what should not be the case - we want our spouses to be just like us - we want each member of the marriage to be the same!!! Should any part of a whole consider any other part as if it were not necessary?? God says no - all parts are important and needed, amen? I wonder how many wives secretly (and foolishly!) think within their hearts that they do not need their husbands... Ladies, whether it's in the house of the Lord or our own houses, God intended that our differences should unite us, not divide us....
Mark 3:24-25, "And if a kingdom be divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. And if a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand."
Luke 11:17, "But he, knowing their thoughts, said unto them, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and a house divided against a house falleth."
Ladies, beware of allowing diversities to cause you to alienate yourself from people, and certainly don't let it bring a schism between you and your husband! If this is the case, you have become your own worst enemy! You have divided yourself against yourself - as part of the whole you've decided to break away from the body, and you'll fall - you'll never be able to stand on your own! God wants us to understand that there is no such thing as a freelance Christian - nobody can take leave of the whole without being brought to desolation.
Vs. 21-22, "And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you. Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary."
God is convicting me even as I write this devotion, because I am guilty at times of making my husband feel unnecessary. If you think about it, when I do that I am guilty of cutting off my own foot! In my eyes at certain times he appears as feeble, as a weak limb that ought to be cut off from my tree so I can grow the way I want to. But God has set my husband in my life - He has placed him there - yes even with all of his weaknesses - and determined that he is good for me! Yet, I have not honoured the contributions he has made in my life... I need to understand that I can't grow properly without my husband in my life. I can't grow in the direction of humility, amen? You see, there are still areas of prideful independence in my spirit where I don't like having to need someone. I prefer to do things fully on my own and that is wrong. The Lord wants me to enjoy depending upon my husband for certain things, not dread it! And then I need to go one step further and be thankful for his help. After all, if I'm not willing to depend on man, how willing am I going to be to depend upon God?? God has shown me that I need to bestow more honour upon my husband, not less....
Vs. 23-25, "And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness. For our comely parts have no need: but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked: That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another."
Division and alienation of feelings ought not to be part of our churches or our homes, amen? Express appreciation for a particular strength that is different from your own. We also need to exhibit care one for another, and bestow honour upon the parts that lack - not just recognize the parts that are comely! Don't just recognize somebody if and when they get their act together, do it when they are weakest, when they need you most to come along side of them for support. That's how the Lord treats us, isn't it ladies? It's when we are weakest that He comes to our rescue....
Romans 5:8, "But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
Whether members of a church, a home or a marriage, all should be closely united by the strongest bonds of love; the good of the whole should be the object of all, amen? All Christians are dependent one upon another; each is to expect and receive help from the rest.
Vs. 26-27, "And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it. Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular."
Yes, unity should be the common goal and consciousness of each part of every whole. As Christians especially, we need to come to the place in our lives where we learn to appreciate one another's differences and humbly allow others to contribute to our lives, especially during times of suffering. There are some people that prefer to suffer alone, but God says parts of a whole need to suffer together - we are not to operate as islands! So too, when someone succeeds or experiences a victory, be the first one to rejoice with them, don't sulk in envy.... We are all part of the body of CHRIST and ought to reflect His character, amen? Every contribution we make to the whole ought to result in strengthening it.
In closing, you can see the vanity in wishing everybody was just like you! With God's perspective, it will make it much easier to get along with difficult or different individuals, amen? We also need to use those qualities about us personally that makes us different to contribute properly and lovingly to the lives of others. Nobody should feel unimportant or unnecessary, amen? God has arranged each one of us in places where He sees fit... Is there anything you need to do today to become a better church member, a better worker, a better family member, a better friend, a better wife??
God Bless,
Pam
Isaiah 60:1&2
Copyright 2000 Pamela A. Iannello
