The greatest need in churches today is for a revival of solid Bible teaching on the Christian home. Why? Because the home is where the next generation of Christians is being molded! Ministry leaders will admit that the best Christian young people in the local church usually come from strong Christian homes. They will also confess that the biggest hindrance to achieving spirituality in the life of a young person is the influence of a poor Christian home. Many times the problem with young people can be directly traced to Mom or Dad at home. It is a Biblical principle that "like produces like." You've heard and probably even said it yourself many times before - "Like mother, like daughter" or "Like father, like son." Ladies, the future of your children and my children is at stake and Satan would love to have them! Let's keep that from happening by strengthening our homes! Incidentally, just what is a Christian home anyway? Should we let the government define this for us? How about the media, are they able to properly define a Christian home? Absolutely not! There is no definition more clear and truthful of what a Christian home truly is than what the Word of God gives us. As I combine my thoughts with an outline I came across on a Christian home, let's refresh our memories of some important truths…
A Christian home has a husband and a wife who have become "ONE".
We will begin by understanding that both are saved, born-again Christians, for hopefully we haven’t forgotten what 2 Corinthians 6:14 says:
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
God says a believer has no business marrying an unbeliever, one who is not saved. This is something I decided to conveniently overlook when I met the man that is now my husband, and our marriage was pure hell the first few years. Only by God's grace did we make it through the willful error I made in yoking myself to an unbeliever as a child of God! I learned in my life that if you date an unsaved man, you’d end up marrying an unsaved man. After our union, the battle between light and darkness began at our house. What a conflict it was, and this warfare involved our daughter and the influences that came into her life after she was born. Believe me, you'll only end up with pain and heartache if you think you know better than God who you should marry!
In addition, there can be no Christian home until a man and a woman have recited marriage vows and are legally married. Living together or a trial marriage, which does not bind one to another, cannot constitute a Christian home - sorry! It does not matter if both parties involved are believers or not! God’s children should know better. In fact, we should all remember that the Bible calls this fornication and clearly condemns it. Actually, how about going one step further - we should obey it!
1 Corinthians 7:1-2 (KJV)
Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man
not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man
have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
The Bible says that God put Adam to sleep, removed one of his ribs and from that rib made a woman to be Adam's "help meet" (Gen. 2:18-25). God made them to become "one flesh." When this union takes place it is understood that two single people have laid aside their independence in order to mutually serve one another. In the Bible God carefully marks out the capacity in which each will serve. There found on it’s holy pages are separate instructions for husband and wife. Failure to follow God’s orders will only bring grief and sorrow further down the road, as I mentioned above. The pathway of blessing is always the pathway of obedience, ladies! The Apostle Paul tells us that marriage is a beautiful picture of the relationship that exists between Christ and His Church (Eph. 5:25-32). We should be careful not to cloud or distort that precious image but be a good testimony for the Lord. Marriage is to last until we are parted by death… Do you recall that rule was part of your vows, or have you forgotten??
A Christian home has a father and mother who have born or adopted children.
The Bible says that "children are an heritage of the LORD" and "Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them" (Psalm 127:3-5). Children in the home present a glorious opportunity to add to the number of redeemed in the kingdom of God and to train a Christian for the Lord's work as we see in 2 Tim. 1:2-5 and 3 John 4. What greater joy could there be than to hear that YOUR children walk in truth, the truth of God's Word! That's why God has put within the heart of women the desire to have children. Children are a special tie that helps to bind the marriage and hold it together.
Shortly after marrying my unbelieving husband, we learned I had become pregnant, yet I know if it were not for this condition I would not have stayed and worked so diligently at my suffering marriage. When times got tough I would have just abandoned our relationship. However, I found I could not, for I had a child in my womb that needed a home - a Christian home for sure! That little life was a tie that bound me to my husband. God knew precisely what glue to apply to our broken home to make it stick together! I realize there are some Christian couples that have not been able to have children, but God's instructions are no less to them concerning a Christian home! To be honest with you, I have observed several married couples that are more committed to owning pets than they are to having children! They dote upon, sleep with, and even talk to their animals as if they were humans, and it’s taken a warped turn if you ask me! Couples who are childless might consider the blessing of adopting children rather than accumulating cats and dogs, amen?
I Timothy 5:14 (KJV)
I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the
house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
Titus 2:5 also reminds us that the young women are to be taught by the older women "to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." The temptation to seek employment outside the home is removed when children are present, or should be…
In our first year together, we relocated out of state due to my husband’s career as a mechanical engineer. Hence, I began to seek employment as well. I was still searching for a job when I discovered I was pregnant, and immediately my search came to an end. It had always been a conviction of mine that I would stay home with my children even if it meant eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches every meal! As my husband wrestled in his relationship with the Lord, times did get difficult in many ways and we were on food stamps and other income assisted programs for a season. However, I never went to work outside of our home since the day we were married and God has blessed us abundantly. Our needs have always been met! Notice I said needs, not wants.... I know too, that had I been receiving a paycheck during the time that my husband and I were not getting along, the temptation to feel self-sufficient and live independently of him would have been a stronger pull in my life. I would have been seriously tempted to leave him knowing I could financially support myself.
Yes, being a keeper at home removes the temptation to walk out on our marriages. The homes we keep also keep us! Have you lost interest in keeping your home, dear lady? Keep it, and make it a Christian home! Don't let the enemy have it... Contrary to popular belief, the greatest career opportunity in the world is to be a mother and a Christian homemaker! Father and Mother both experience a growth in character that is not quite the same without raising children. It's a wonderful way to learn how to die to self, and die you must in order to live!
A Christian home is a place where ONE family lives.
Our Lord teaches us that when we marry we must leave father and mother. Living with relatives will greatly hinder the happiness and effectiveness of the Christian home. Should your family be faced with such a decision, it must be prayerfully sought out and openly discussed with all members of the family who will be affected. God intends for every home to be a complete, harmonious unit. Relatives or non-relatives abiding in the same home cause friction and hinder natural expressions within the family unit.
Before his salvation, my husband briefly placed us back under the roof of his parents not long after we were first married and this was definitely a major strain on our ailing relationship! As newlyweds, it was just another big hurdle to overcome along with the many others we already faced. His parents, also unbelievers, were openly involved in making major decisions for our future that I was left out of entirely! The liberty to discuss things honestly as husband and wife had been halted. Many issues were left unattended between us because we lived with his folks. These neglected areas in my life became targets of the devil and my heart grew bitter toward my mother-in-law and the strong allegiance my husband exhibited toward her. I felt crushed, defeated, and almost gave up. Again, God's grace was sufficient and is always made perfect in our weaknesses and it became my strength. The victory was won and we left their home, but not without an unpleasant struggle, and not without long-term ramifications. The issues that tied us to his parent’s home and the power it held over our home haunted us for quite some time afterward and our marriage made much slower progress toward health and happiness.
Today, many couples endeavor to go contrary to the Word of God for what they are sure are good reasons, perhaps financially or otherwise as they try to live with parents or other relatives and friends. It does not usually take very long to discover though, that they have erred! Most times the situation cannot be readily corrected and the irritation will go on for years as it did with us.
Mark 10:7 (KJV)
For this cause shall a man LEAVE his father and mother, and cleave to
his wife.
A Christian home is the place where all the members eagerly return.
As Christians, we are citizens of Heaven living in a hostile world, amen? Phil. 3:20 says, "For our conversation is in heaven; from whence also we look for the Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ." It is a blessing to be able to return home to those family members who love Christ and whose presence is found filling and controlling the atmosphere of the home. The Christian home is where we find spiritual agreement and purpose. Here is where we build Christian character and teach sound doctrine within the privacy of the family unit. Here is where love begins, kindness is shown to all, and loyalty is instilled in each member. Here is where children are free to share their dreams and fears openly. Ladies, our children should not be often absent from the home because they are at 'Jimmy's house' or 'Mary's house'. Too many church activities can also take the children away from the home too frequently. It is simply unnatural for your children to be gone from the home constantly; they should spend most of their time with you!! There needs to be a sensible balance maintained between the church and the home. I think busy believers have forgotten this! Children should be taught to spend their spare time at their own home - and so should Mom and Dad! Some parents foolishly think they can spend all their time at the church "serving the Lord," and that God will take care of their children. Not true... Don't be guilty of depriving your godly offspring of the molding that God says only Mom and Dad can accomplish in their lives. We need to remember that "Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home." An old expression about to become extinct - unless you and I keep it alive!
A Christian home is the place where the best food in town is served!
There is no excuse for a steady diet of TV dinners or instant dinners, or even meals out at restaurants. The wife, as the "keeper at home," should have as the desire of her heart the preparation of wholesome and tasty food. There is nothing wrong with inexpensive meals for those on a tight budget as long as they are prepared with tender loving care by Mom... No restaurant or any fast food place should win in competition with good home cooking!
Proverbs 31:15 (KJV)
She riseth also while it is yet night and giveth meat to her household,
and a portion to her maidens.
For this reason, a husband should not have to eat breakfast in a restaurant because his wife is snoring away in bed. Her sacrificial love for husband and children should motivate the wife and mother to start them off with a good breakfast, prepare healthy lunches, and then plan ahead for supper in the evening. Meal time is opportunity for precious fellowship time in the Christian home and many wise Christian families either precede it or follow it with Bible reading and prayer together.
Deut. 6:7 (KJV)
And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk
of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the
way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
A Christian home is the place where all can be comfortable.
The home is not a museum where all inhabitants walk delicately so as not to disturb any of the finely arranged designer pieces. Nor is it just a pit stop to pull into and peel out of every day... Home is a place to LIVE in, to relax in, to be comfortable in. However, this is NOT to excuse children from putting away their toys, picking up their clothes, and keeping their rooms neat! It matters little whether the home furnishings are expensive or low cost; it matters much whether the home is kept clean and tidy with a cheerful environment. In Colossians 3:2 we are told to "set our affection on things above, not on things on the earth." It's one thing to have a home that is comfortable, but it is another thing for us to allow the home to become an idol with which we concern ourselves too much. Remember what the Word of God says in Hebrews 13:5, "...be content with such things as ye have."
A Christian home is the place where we mold our children.
In Proverbs 22:6, the Bible tells us to "train up a child in the way he should go". I wonder how many Christian parents fail to remember this one! From the time they are born we should teach our children early to believe in Christ as their Savior. The salvation of our children is to be prayed for and sought after above many other worthy goals. Obedience and discipline cannot be required too soon! How is the child training program going at your house?? Are you diligent with this God given responsibility or don’t you even have yourself under control yet? Romans 8:29 says, "For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son..." Children should be patterned in the image of Mom and Dad who are following Christ and seeking to be conformed to His image. Praise God when people say that your children are a "chip off the old block!" If you are following Christ in godly living, it is certainly a welcome compliment, amen? By the way, when was the last time you were complimented in this manner, Christian mother? Of what kind of a block are your kids a chip off? I hope it's the Rock, Christ Jesus!
A Christian home is the place where we can choose the people our family has fellowship with.
Acts 2:44-46 point out that we ought to have Christians in our home often for spiritual fellowship and as godly examples to our children. It is always encouraging to our children when they see that there are other people who believe just like Mom and Dad, who are in one accord, and in singleness of heart have all things common as the verses state. Certainly we should strive to reach the lost, but the ungodly and Christ rejecting should not enter the home to corrupt it. Keep those evil influences out of your Christian home! Now ladies, doesn't it make sense that if we will not invite certain people into our homes because of foul language or immoral behavior and lifestyle, we ought to see to it that the same does not come into our homes by way of the television or computer?! When you spend all your time in front of these two boxes without any godly guidelines, you are going to end up fellowshipping with the unfruitful works of darkness - and so are your children! No Christian home should open itself up to such wicked influence!
A Christian home is the place where what we believe is practiced 24 hours a day.
In closing, please remember there is no closer or lengthier relationship in life than the home. This is where we eat, sleep, spend our free time, mature spiritually and emotionally, and learn to love and serve others. It is safe to say that a child will spend 6,570 days in the home before he leaves it. What we as parents believe and fail to practice will be our children's misbeliefs and practices throughout their lives. Matthew 7:24 says, “Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock:” Are you hearing the sayings of Christ today - with your heart? Are you then doing them?? Is your home built upon the Rock, Christ Jesus? If so, the Lord considers you wise, for the principles laid out in His Word are the very foundations of a Christian home! This world desperately needs more of them.... I hope you are in the process of building one.
God Bless,
Pam
Isaiah 60:1&2
Copyright 2000 Pamela A. Iannello
Revised 2004
