Today during my Bible reading, a particular scripture verse stood out
to me in regard to a topic that has been on my heart pertaining to Christian
conduct. I don't have to tell you how deteriorated our society has become
morally, for it is easy to see. But have you ever thought about how we
as Christians can keep ourselves pure in a society that does not support
God's ideals? In other words, how should we treat fellow Christians, how
should we behave in one another's presence? Let me share with you the
verse that provided the answer for me....
1 Timothy 5:1&2
Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men
as brethren; The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with
all purity.
Churches are naturally made up of people of various ages and along with
Timothy, we are encouraged by Paul here in this portion of scripture to
love and serve ALL people without prejudice and with purpose. Consequently,
must we soberly consider our behavior while in the company of persons
within the family of God. Why? Because we have a holy Father and He desires
that ALL purity dwells amid our relationships! Our interactions ought
not to be ruined by improper sexual overtones… We are told to intreat,
or approach the older men as fathers, and the younger men as brothers.
Older women are to be intreated, or approached as mothers, and younger
women as sisters - all to be managed with purity. And ladies, purity SHOULD
be manifested in the character of women in the church! Impure character
on women's part has ruined many a church's ministry...
Proverbs 7:26
For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong men have been slain
by her.
Now, given this basic understanding, how might we apply these principles
to our lives? If we were to consider all of the men in the church who
are older than us as fathers, how would that determine the way we conduct
ourselves while in their presence? I say this trusting you all know right
from wrong, and normal from abnormal; but think for a moment of how you
behave yourself with your own father... Do you behave this same way with
the older men in your church?? Is this perspective in the forefront of
your mind when approaching their presence? Or have you become too relaxed
and casual with the opposite sex… Would we flirt with our fathers? Would
we dress improperly around them? Do we engage in conversation that might
lead us down the wrong path, or that would be tasteless or dishonoring
to their office? Do we impudently quarrel with them over certain issues?
Do we complain about our mothers to our fathers?? These are just a few
thoughts that should provoke us to consider whether or not we diligently
seek to keep ourselves in the realm of a healthy father-daughter relationship
with the older men in the church.
Single and married women alike need to be guarded in their approach to
the opposite sex no matter who they are! Far too many women have crossed
over the line of purity and become entangled with sin for lack of proper
thinking toward other men in the church, and so have the men! Inappropriate
views will lead to inappropriate actions… Because we love our fathers,
we should not want to behave ourselves unseemly, in a manner that is not
fit for the relationship. Ladies, this is the way that God has told us
to conduct ourselves so as to remain pure in a society that is not!
Titus 2:7 says
In ALL things shewing thyself a pattern of good works…
What about the way you and I behave while in the presence of the younger
women? Do we consider that they are our younger sisters? How did you/should
you treat a younger sister? I have three younger sisters and as I look
back on my role in each of their lives, I think of guiding them, protecting
them, tutoring them, sacrificing my time for them to make sure their needs
were taken care of, sharing with them, telling them the truth, encouraging
them to obey. Should an older sister fill a younger sister's head full
of nonsense? Should she sit and gossip with her? Should an older sister
plant seeds of disrespect toward mother and father in the younger sister's
heart? Should she boss her around or bully her, or perhaps ignore her
because of her young age? Should an older sister act immaturely by becoming
involved in childish activities? How funny grown women would look riding
the kiddy rides at the park, yet I see many older Christian women engaging
in immature recreational activities that fit the nature of a younger woman…
Ladies, it's high time for older sisters to sober up and consider their
examples before their younger sisters! The time must come when we willingly
act our age and put away childish things, behaving in a manner that becometh
holiness. Titus 2 uses the word "discreet" as a character quality that
should be prized by young and old alike, male or female. In other words,
we should each be wise in avoiding errors, and skilled in exercising proper
judgment of what is best to do or not to do, to say or not to say, in
any given situation. We ought to know how to conduct ourselves at our
current age, amen? "It is the discreet man, not the witty, nor the learned,
nor the brave, who guides the conversation, and gives measure to society."
-Addison
Proverbs 11:22
As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, so is a fair woman which is without
DISCRETION.
Proverbs 5:2
That thou mayest regard DISCRETION, and that thy lips may keep knowledge.
Isaiah 28:26
For his God doth instruct him to DISCRETION, and doth teach him.
Psalm 112:5
A good man sheweth favour, and lendeth: he will guide his affairs with
DISCRETION.
Proverbs 2:11
DISCRETION shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee:
Proverbs 3:21
My son, let not them depart from thine eyes: keep sound wisdom and DISCRETION:
Ladies, take a moment now to ponder the way you conduct yourselves in
the presence of the young men at church... Your heavenly Father says they
are your younger brothers. Certainly they need to witness modesty in their
older sisters, amen? Undoubtedly, they need to observe a sweet, submissive,
obedient spirit in their sisters; founded upon humility. Indeed they need
to learn how to behave mannerly toward their sisters and will apply these
valuable lessons to all female interactions... Are you worthy of such
respect from them? You see, as the elder, you are helping younger men
to notice what qualities in a woman are to be highly treasured. With what
example are you providing them, dear lady? I hope young men haven't stumbled
over your provocative way of dressing... Do you allow them to assist you
in various tasks so they learn to be gentlemen, or are you the type that
acts like "one of the guys" and insists on doing things yourself? Are
you typically competitive with the younger men? Do you slap them on the
back when you greet them and tell a few jokes, trying to be their buddy?
Do you ever flirt with the younger men in your church, or hold their gaze
a bit too long just so you can still feel attractive? Do you hold lengthy
and personal conversations with younger men? When conversing with any
man, women must always be aware of aware of tone, topic and time… Yes,
even light hearted teasing and joking becomes flirtatious and gets out
of line! Ladies, be careful of the conversations you hold with young men,
they are quite impressionable - and single… Take not one step toward leading
men's minds and manners astray. I recall an older Christian woman, age
37, who openly engaged herself in a romantic relationship with a 19 year
old Christian young man that she could have been a mother to! How did
such a warped relationship come about in the first place?? It is because
we have forgotten God's guidelines of how to behave ourselves in the presence
of one another....
Phillipians 1:10
That ye may approve things that are excellent....
Phillipians 1:27
Only let your conversation be as it becometh the gospel of Christ....
In closing, take a moment today to do painstaking inventory, reflecting
upon the way you have been behaving yourself in the presence of your church
family members. Remember the view God wants you to have; the older men
are your fathers, the younger men are your brothers, the older women are
your mothers and the younger women are your sisters. If you've had the
proper perspective toward the men and women in your church, then no doubt
you've had the proper behavior toward them. If not, correct it and do
right! Add discretion to your character and preserve yourself from trouble...
Keep yourself pure in a society that is not! Be diligent in keeping watch
over your conduct not only outside, but also inside the house of God,
teaching others to use discretion as well.
2 Peter 3:11
Seeing then that all these things shall be dissolved, what manner of persons
ought ye to be in all holy conversation and godliness.
God Bless,
Pam
Isaiah 60:1&2
Copyright 2000 Pamela A. Iannello
Revised 2002
