A malignant deity, called Critisism . . . At her right hand sat Ignorance,
her father and husband, blind with age; at her left, Pride, her mother,
dressing her up in scraps of paper she herself had torn. There was Opinion,
her sister, light of foot, hoodwinked, and headstrong, yet giddy and perpetually
turning. About her played her children, Noise and Impudence, Dullness
and Vanity, Positiveness, Pedantry, and Ill-Manners. The goddess herself
had claws like a cat, her head, and ears, and voice resembled those of
an ass; her teeth fallen out before, her eyes turned inward, as if she
also looked only upon herself; her diet was the overflowing of her own
gall. JONATHAN SWIFT (1667-1745)
Numbers 12:1-2
And Miriam and Aaron spake against Moses because of the Ethiopian woman
whom he had married: for he had married an Ethiopian woman. And they said,
Hath the Lord indeed spoken only by Moses? hath he not spoken also by
us? And the Lord heard it.
The first thing that we learn about destructive criticism today from this
portion of scripture is that IT MISSES COMPLETELY THE REAL ISSUE! Moses
didn't have a Jewish wife because he lived with the Egyptians the first
forty years of his life, and he was in the desert the next forty years.
The woman mentioned here is probably not Zipporah, his first wife, who
was a Midianite ( Exodus 2:21). A Cushite was an Ethiopian. There is no
clear explanation given for why Miriam objected to this woman, but only
that she did. Oftentimes people often argue over minor disagreements,
leaving the real issues untouched, amen? Faultfinders have a sharp eye
for faults and a blind eye for virtues! Such was the case when Miriam
and Aaron came to their brother Moses with their complaint. Moses had
already been criticized at this point, but now Satan turns two of the
people he is closest to against him, with Miriam, his sister, at the helm.
It's obvious by their comment that the real issue was their growing jealousy
of Moses' position and influence, not the woman he married! Since they
could not find fault with the way Moses was leading the people, they chose
instead to criticize his wife. Rather than face the problem squarely by
dealing with their envy and pride, they chose to create a diversion from
the real issue. When you are in a disagreement, better stop and ask yourself
if you are arguing over the real issue, or if you have introduced a smoke
screen by attacking someone else's character!
Ladies, as wives are guilty of this very thing in relation to our husbands.
We make a mountain out of a mole hill, criticizing them and accusing them
of all sorts of crimes, rather than honestly and lovingly discussing what
is really troubling our hearts with them. We think they should automatically
know exactly what is bothering us at all times so we play "hide and seek"
with our husbands. Then when they don't understand what is really troubling
us, we begin our destructive criticism of them… Instead of being honest,
we'll argue with them over being late for dinner - a minor issue, when
what is really wrong happened two or three days ago! What we are doing
is ignoring the real problem - our own bitter heart towards our husbands,
or any other person for that matter! Beware of self-deception, ladies;
it is very dangerous! Our hearts are deceitful and will divert our attention
to the flaws of others thereby missing the real issue within us! Remember
too, that if you are ever unjustly criticized, your critics may also be
afraid to face up to the real problem within them. If what they are saying
about you is true, mend your ways! If it isn't true, forget it, and go
on and serve the Lord. Rather than take this type of destructive criticism
so personally - just pray and ask God to help you identify the truth and
deal with it in a manner that would be pleasing to Him. Let's look next
at Matthew 7:1-2 which says:
Judge not, that ye be not judged. For what judgement ye judge, ye shall
be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you
again.
Secondly, we learn from our text that destructive criticism often COVERS
THE REAL NEED FOR SELF-CRITICISM. Jesus' statement, "Judge not," was not
referring to the idea that we are never to confront sin, but rather against
the kind of hypocritical, judgmental attitude that tears others down in
order to build oneself up. It is not a blanket statement against all critical
thinking, but a call to be discerning rather than simply negative. Jesus
said to expose false teachers (7:15-23), and Paul taught that we should
exercise church discipline (1 Corinthians 5:1-2) and trust God to be the
final Judge (1 Corinthians 4:3-5). However, Jesus tells us to thoroughly
examine our own motives and conduct before judging others... By dealing
with our own hearts first, we sharpen our discernment to properly judge
others. Sometimes the very habits we dislike in ourselves are the very
traits that bother us in others! Our untamed bad habits and behavior patterns
- our sins, are the very ones that we target changing in someone else.
Think about it… Do you find it easy to magnify others' faults while excusing
your own? Before you are ready to criticize someone, why not check first
to see if you deserve the same criticism! You see, when you wisely judge
yourself first, then you'll be better prepared to lovingly forgive and
help your neighbor, making way for mercy.
Galatians 5:15
But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed
with one another.
Thirdly, we find here that destructive criticism INDICATES A LACK OF LOVE.
How else could we be guilty of biting and devouring one another so readily??
These words are a perfect picture of destructive criticism, are they not?
When we are not motivated by love, we will become critical of others and
obsessed with issues. We will focus on only their faults and failures
and indulge ourselves in quarrels and animosities. Soon following, the
unity of believers is broken and discord and division begins… Have you
ever talked behind someone's back, biting at his or her reputation with
your damaging words? Have you ever devoured the pastor and his family
for Sunday brunch?? How much time have you devoted to focusing on the
shortcomings of people, consuming their character in one big gulp? Maybe
you take smaller bites, nibbling away at someone's testimony via gossip…
Perhaps it's time to remind yourself of Jesus' command in Mt. 22:39 to
love your neighbor as you love yourself! By the way, dear wife, nagging
is a form of continual criticism whereby the same complaint is stated
repeatedly… On the other hand, silence too, is sometimes the severest
criticism! Which method do you use to scold your husband with? A proper
love for others will not resort to such manipulative tactics, but will
humbly motivate us to take that person or problem to the throne of grace
in prayer as often as possible! It's hard to remain critical when you
have repeatedly taken the issue to the Lord for help, amen? If there truly
are problems that must be addressed, it is better to confront in love
than to fall prey to gossip! Certainly, the best way to keep from gossip,
nagging, or even silent sulking is to talk to the Lord about everything…
As a final point, it's time for Christians to stop behaving like wild
animals toward one another and behave more like Christ! Most of us would
agree that humans who eat other humans are repulsive and appalling, yet
we are behaving in the manner similar to a cannibal when we feast on other
people daily with an appetite for criticism. Satan walks about as a roaring
lion seeking whom He may devour - we have no business behaving as does
the devil!! We are in danger of destroying one another when a critical
spirit resides within our hearts. We are also in danger of destroying
the testimony of the Lord Jesus Christ before a lost and dying world.
No law can make us get along with one another, but love can! God's love…
It will keep you from becoming a cannibal!
God Bless,
Pam
Isaiah 60:1&2
Copyright 2000 Pamela A. Iannello
Revised 2003
Related Devotional - The Dust of Misrepresentation
