One year, we shared a cabin with another family from our church that
was charmingly nestled in the hills of North Carolina. It was pretty country
to be sure, and we saw many beautiful sights while driving through the
mountains. Of course, you can't go camping without having a campfire at
least one night, and so we eagerly congregated around the flames while
sitting on logs prearranged in a circle, all of which was provided for
us by the owner of the cabin. Our youngest son always likes to be the
one to keep the fire burning by throwing on some extra wood. Each time
he would place that kindling on the fire, the flames would rise higher
and get hotter, warming the faces of those of us who were gathered round
the glowing embers. The memory of dear ones seated together about a campfire
is always a pleasant one, yet there is also a great lesson for us in the
campfire, which brings to mind a verse I came across…
Proverbs 26:21 (KJV)
As coals are to burning coals, and wood to fire; so is a contentious man
to kindle strife.
Contention is strife in words or debate; a quarrel, a struggle, a violent
effort to obtain something, or to resist a person; an angry contest. Contention
heats the spirit and puts individuals, whole families, churches, and even
nations into a burning flame. He who lays no wood or coal on the fire
causes it to go out. But the contentious man or woman inflames men's souls
by continually contributing to the fire of dissension simply by adding
hot coals and kindling of pride to an already heated situation…
Proverbs 13:10 (KJV)
Only by pride cometh contention….
You see ladies, ALL contentions, whether between you and your husband,
you and your mother-in-law, you and your children, you and your neighbor,
you and another woman at church etc. are sparked and carried forward by
pride. Disputes could be easily prevented and brought to an end if it
were not for our pride, amen? Our pride causes us to deliberately drop
small comments here and there which bring those flames of strife rising
higher and higher, causing them to burn hotter and hotter, affecting each
and every person gathered round your "campfire". What do you typically
do when the campfire gets hot? I've noticed that people move away from
the intensity, or even get up and leave the fiery arena altogether! Incidentally,
if you are a contentious person, so too, will others want to be delivered
from the heat of your presence… Do you want to be responsible for that
occurrence in your family? In your marriage? In your church? In the workplace?
Individuals seated around your campfire quickly begin to realize that
you have gathered for the purpose of war, for the purpose of roasting
them like an innocent marshmallow, when they have simply assembled for
peace…
Psalm 120:7 (KJV)
I am for peace: but when I speak, they are for war.
Psalm 140:1&2 (KJV)
Deliver me, O Lord, from the evil man: preserve me from the violent man;
which imagine mischiefs in their heart; continually are they gathered
together for war.
When you sit around a campfire in the cool of the evening, stars twinkling
silently above and crickets chirping happily in the background, you can't
help but ponder the issues of life while staring into the mesmerizing
flames of a crackling fire. The whole setting has a soothing effect upon
your soul… Each person gathered round the campfire is thoughtfully reflecting
on various topics, stemming from the recent events of the day to just
the plain old goodness of God in their lives. Not so with the contentious
person… The Bible says the contentious person is sitting there imagining
mischief in his heart! Evil festers and smoulders deep within, causing
them to jump up from their seat and place another log on the fire, making
it uncomfortable rather than enjoyable for those around them who have
gathered for peace. Individuals with evil hearts don't notice the hellish
rise in temperature, or even if the flames are getting dangerously close
to them, for they are consumed with stirring up the fire, never expecting
to suffer personal injury in the process…
Proverbs 17:19 (KJV)
He loveth transgression that loveth strife; and he that exalteth his gate
seeketh destruction.
Proverbs 15:18 (KJV)
A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth
strife.
As you might expect, there is always one person seated by the fire who
will inevitably say to our youngest son, "No more wood please, the fire
is getting out of control." This is a perfect example of the one the Bible
speaks of who desires to appease the fire, to put out the flames of dissension
that are bringing discomfort to themselves and others. God commends in
His Word those who would appease strife if and when it is kindled, those
who exhibit an even temperedness, those who will control their emotions
and are not prone to quarreling, those who are slow to anger and know
better than to throw another log on the fire and ignite trouble. These
are the kind of people you can sit around the campfire with and enjoy
a peaceful time of fellowship, amen?
So dear lady, what is your focus when you are in a social setting? Are
you consumed with keeping the fire going or the well being of those in
attendance?? Have you been guilty of sitting around the fire in your imagination,
wishing in your heart you could place your husband on a stick and roast
him over those flames like a marshmallow?? Perhaps that is why the Bible
says in Proverbs 21:19, "Better to dwell in the wilderness than with a
contentious and angry woman." Such a man has to back away from his wife
all the way to the woods just to avoid the heat of her presence!! God
says it's better for him to be alone than to live with a woman prone to
quarreling… Do you fall under that category, dear lady? Be careful Christian
wife - for even believers can be divided by their contentions as we see
in the life of the apostle Paul and Barnabas…
Acts 15:37-40 (KJV)
And Barnabas determined to take with them John, whose surname was Mark.
But Paul thought not good to take them with them, who departed from them
from Pamphylia, and went not with them to the work. And the contention
was so sharp between them, that they departed asunder one from the other:
and so Barnabas took Mark, and sailed unto Cyprus; And Paul chose Silas,
and departed....
Yes, the contention between Paul and Barnabas was so sharp that it caused
profound division between them and their relationship was terminated.
They split up over a difference of opinion, stopped working together as
a team, and chose other partners with which to continue working. Now,
how would you feel if that was the case in your marriage? Will you allow
contention to come between you and your husband to the point that you
both will end up backing away from one another as well as choosing other
partners with whom to spend the rest of your life? Is that the position
in which you want to find yourself? It certainly isn't God's will! Better
to leave off contention, don't meddle with it, for once it starts flaming,
it's difficult to put out, and it always ends up causing serious damage…
Proverbs 17:14 (KJV)
The beginning of strife is as when one letteth out water: therefore leave
off contention, before it be meddled with.
Proverbs 18:6 (KJV)
A fools lips enter into contention....
Only a fool would get too close to the inferno that would bring about
his own destruction, and the ruin of his loved ones, amen? My advice is
stay away from the fire before it burns you!! Ladies, your harsh words
will affect your life as well as the lives of those gathered round your
campfire… I hope you haven't been responsible for scorching others with
your tongue, with your arguments, with your strife, with your contentions
in general. If so, why don't you put the fire of dissension out once and
for all? Allow the refreshing spirit of humility to cool you off instead
of fuming all the time. Stop placing kindling on the fire - stop adding
more fuel, stop bringing trouble to yourself and others by your lips!
Why not make the appeal of being in your presence a pleasant one so that
people won't mind meeting with you! Burn with a sincere desire to please
God! Bring some peace back into your relationships and remove that unpleasant
heat that causes individuals to back away from you.
Romans 2:8-10 (KJV)
But unto them that are contentious, and do not obey the truth, but obey
unrighteousness, indignation and wrath, Tribulation and anguish, upon
every soul of man that doeth evil…
But glory, honour, and peace, to every man that worketh good....
Which of the above situations would you prefer to experience? The choice
is yours - you can stubbornly continue to remain hot-tempered, or willingly
yield to the control of the Spirit of God...
Psalm 34:14 (KJV)
Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace, and pursue it.
A well-known preacher wisely stated, "Unbridled passions spoil the comfort
of all relations." How true! Ever thought of bringing a peace offering
to burn at the campfire instead of your pride? I challenge you today to
stop warring - get rid of that flammable mischief in your heart before
you gather with folks so your time together can be a pleasant memory for
all!
God Bless,
Pam
Isaiah 60:1&2
Copyright 2000 Pamela A. Iannello
Revised 2003
